Acceptance

A few weeks ago on the travel blog I wrote about a visit to Bonneville Dam:

https://sporktogo.blogspot.com/2022/11/columbia-river-gorge-bonneville-dam.html 

If you haven't been reading those posts, some time ago I started adding notes about COVID and accessibility. For the COVID one, I mentioned my frustration with these updates when it feels so much like no one is trying or even cares anymore. However (despite none of the staff being masked), there was a sign encouraging mask wearing, saying "Be A Life Hero."

My own frustration aside, I can at least commit to not spreading infection.

Regardless, I am not a hero, a rather disappointing realization not too long ago.

That is what I wanted to be, where I could swoop in and stop bad things from happening. Then a lot of bad things happened; seeing them coming did nothing for prevention.

It seems that my real ability is helping to mop up after the bad things happen.

That is valuable, just not what I was hoping for.

There are two things that relate, but one is more recent.

For the old one, well, you may recall me writing about finding out things about me that I am, and that I can't not be.

I am a caregiver, and a writer, and a historian.

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2018/06/one-more-personal-truth.html 

I had written about that, but I don't think I ever wrote about trying to see one step beyond that, and where it would lead. I did do that, and the word that came back was "healer".

I thought "teacher" would have made more sense (going along with the history and writing), but there are multiple ways of teaching and healing.

Regardless, if my most essential traits lead me toward being a healer, that implies that the injuries are going to happen more than that I will be able to stop them.

The more recent thought was to look at how many things have been so bad for so long.

It's not that new bad things don't happen. If there are possibilities of preventing some things, let's do it, but there has been room for a lot of healing for a long time. 

It wasn't always obvious; often when people remember a previous era as more innocent, they are only remembering the things they didn't have to think about or know about.

There were always others who knew and couldn't avoid knowing if they tried.

I cannot fix that, but I do not have to spread it.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/04/messier-than-karma.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/06/through-overwhelm.html