Feminist infighting

This title does not really feel accurate, but it's succinct while getting close, so I'm going for it.

If you haven't noticed, my last two posts have been unusually short, and the reason that's been happening is that I have this unusually messy thing that I am trying to get at, and to be coherent I have only taken small chunks. Now I think it's just time to be messy.

I wrote about intersectionality a while back, but there has been more going on. I don't think it is a good use of my time to go over the history of the conflicts, because I am late to the game. There is plenty of information that is out there, and it has been said well. There are things that bother me, and I am just going to get them off my chest in no particular order.

First of all, back to that bullying thing. If you are the one in power, you are not being bullied. If articles about it quote the white feminists but all of the feminist of color are unnamed sources, the cited people are not getting bullied. If you get paid to write an article about how mean the internet is to you, and you have a syndicated column and legislative contacts and corporate sponsorships, a hash tag that spoofs your slogan in a manner pointing out its deficiencies is not bullying. Some people get inundated with death threats and rape threats, which takes a huge emotional toll. It's important to keep some perspective.

Also, beyond not every attack being bullying, not every criticism is an attack. I say this as someone who truly hates criticism. It doesn't matter how nice you are about it, I am withering inside, because I will be mortified to find out I was in error. Okay, if you are deliberately mean, that would be worse, so I guess it does matter, but my point is that you cannot completely remove the sting. While I recognize that as a hang up on my part, no one really loves being criticized.

Here's the thing: if you do correct me on something, no matter how much I am cringing inside, I am not going to make that your problem. I am going to listen, and if the correction is valid I am going to agree and try and fix it. That's simply the adult thing to do. Perpetuating an error to spare my feelings, especially for something that matters, would be ridiculous. I will recover and I will grow from it. This is a totally normal part of maturity.

I don't think the intentions are generally bad, but they shouldn't be so clueless. Really, there were tweets from people saying they were scared to speak up because they might be criticized. How can you possibly be effective as any kind of activist if you're scared someone might say something mean to you? If you're going to be that delicate, you're reinforcing the stereotype of women being delicate and needing male protection, just as men who excuse rape perpetuate an image of men as brutes with no self-control. It's baffling, and I have to think they aren't really thinking it through.

That lack of thinking then carries through to their efforts, where some things can cause a lot of harm. It's probably not intentional, but that's all the more reason to listen. If all of your solutions for violence against women involve strengthening law enforcement, but women in some communities are being assaulted by law enforcement, what have you done? If in order to protect children you make it a crime for a women to stay with the abuser, but you don't provide resources and support for her to leave, what then?

While this wasn't the beginning or the end of the conflict, a lot of it centered around a group of women meeting to plot how to use the internet for advancing feminism, and part of that was how they could get funded. The criticism came from the exclusion of various groups and geographies, certainly, but I think there are some important things about the funding aspect.

One of the reasons Twitter has become so important for this is because it is free and open to anyone. You do need internet access, but that is relatively easy to obtain - much easier than knowing the right people and having the right connections.

People who are creating helpful dialogues (and hash tags) on Twitter are not getting paid to do so. That may limit the amount of time they spend at it, but you can't doubt their passion, and that they are in the trenches somewhere, teaching or in school, or whatever their occupation is, may actually give them a better understanding of what these needs are. No women on the board of directors is a legitimate concern, but I think it is more urgent that indigenous women go missing and no one cares. Food deserts are more pressing. Events that have corporate sponsors tend to be less progressive, and there's a reason for that.

There are really so many things I could bring up here, and it probably would not be valuable, but this is my main thought.

If your work, whether on behalf of people of color or women or any other group, has been about getting yourself a better place in the hierarchy, and then maintaining that place, you are part of the problem. Stop.

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/12/inclusion-and-intersectionality.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/07/yes-im-feminist.html

 

Nice and Kind

These words are not the same. We use them interchangeably, but the differences are important.

"Nice" was originally used as a synonym for "neat". There is a part in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey where Henry is teasing Catherine for praising a novel as "the nicest book" and saying it must depend on the binding.

There is a little conversation there about whether he is being too picky, or whether not being picky causes the word to lose its value, and that's a cool discussion to have. I am totally down with that.

I do feel like despite using the words in various ways, there are connotations that remain. If feels to me like we use "nice" more for "pleasant", indicating some focus on the appearance, and that usually "kind" conveys more of a feeling of generosity coming from the heart. We focus too much on being "nice".

I don't actually have anything against things being neat, orderly, and pleasant, but if we are trying to make them seem pleasant when they are not, there's a problem. Putting a fresh coat of paint and adding landscaping to a safe and comfortable house is great. Trying to use paint and flowers to mask rotting wood and an unstable foundation is not cool.

Looking up the word origins, "nice" comes from the Latin nescius, meaning ignorant or incapable. Even better, the way that works is that you have a negative prefix with the word for "to know", scire, which gives us science.

It would probably be carrying things too far to think that the Romans were saying that you can only think things are nice if you are ignorant, or that niceness is for losers. I am not cynical enough to think either of those things either.

I am not even cynical enough to think that every time someone complains about someone else not being nice, that they are doing it in a deliberated attempt to stifle a discussion that needs to be had, or to maintain a position of power. Except, that is a little cynical because thinking that sometimes people are kind of stupid and self-absorbed rather than devious is not super positive. Still, a reasonable response to a request for niceness is "Why?"

I see that as a reasonable response only if kindness is already present, because that is actually important. We need kindness to each other, and to other life, and to the planet. Part of that kindness is that we will face facts. We do look at science. We do look at the impact on people who are not us. We do it with a good heart, but with a good brain too.

There is a phrase that periodically comes to me, "to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." Both of those things are important. "Nice" will not do the second, and even if it will try the first, "kind" will do a better job.

Bully

I was watching an episode of "Judge Judy" with feuding neighbors. There had been various issues, but one incident had involved one child shoving another in the bathroom and injuring him. The child who shoved claimed that the other had been bullying him, and Judy disagreed with that because the other child was smaller.

I don't doubt for a minute that the smaller child was harassing the bigger one, constantly saying aggravating things. That can be really frustrating. There's a special stress that comes with taking abuse that you should be able to stop, but would get in trouble for doing so. Some older siblings really understand this, and some just get into trouble.

If we are going to specifically focus on bullying, though, it implies an imbalance of power. Maybe that person is physically bigger and more dangerous, or maybe they control your working situation, or maybe it is multiple people working together so that not only is the subject outnumbered but it feels like society is united against you.

I think we are overusing the word. That's not to say that bullying doesn't happen a lot; it does. When it becomes an all-purpose word though, it can get used wrong, and even when it would be an applicable word, as a label it oversimplifies it. One larger kid picking on a smaller child on the playground would be dealt with differently than a group of teen girls sending abusive texts.

In addition, labeling the ones on the abusive side as bullies oversimplifies them. There may be several weak people following one leader, there could be someone with emotional issues who needs to learn different ways of expression, but that label "bully" reduces it to simply "You're bad." (And, they may either internalize that or not believe it at all.)

I get hung up on word use a lot. I'm a highly verbal nerd, so that comes naturally to me, but also, words are the basis of our communication. There are ways of getting things across non-verbally, but even then, we are probably thinking things about the non-verbal communication via words. Using words correctly is important for us to understand each other, and for any growth that we can make.

Therefore, it bothers me when people use words incorrectly. I don't like it when they use words wrong because they don't really know the meaning, but usually they are not the only ones, and it's a common issue, and we can work on that.

I really dislike it when people use language specifically for the purpose of deceiving. That's just evil.

Somewhere in between is a mix when people may believe that they are using a word correctly. They're not exactly being dishonest on purpose, but their dishonesty is possible because through various combinations of entitlement, hypocrisy, or self-righteousness, they don't get it and it works well for them to get it.

That's sort of where we're heading next, and it's not really about the teenagers. I do think about bullying and abuse in terms of the teens, but it has been even more frustrating seeing the poor examples we set for them. At least when they are young you can think they will grow out of it, but some people don't. That's what I'm thinking about now.

Concert Review: Reggie and the Full Effect

There are several memorable images from the concert. I will try and do them all justice, but I want to start with one of two opposites, with the guitars.

Let's start with the general configuration. Front and center was James Dewees, lead vocals, keyboards, and the essence of Reggie and the Full Effect. The collaborations are important, but still, it all centers around him.

Behind him on drums was Billy Johnson. He was pretty constantly obscured by James, as well as his own cymbals. When I got my best look at him he was dressed in such a manner that you had to just assume it was him. (Believe me, we will get to that.) Stage left, blond and on 6 string guitar, was Cory White. Stage right, Zach Phillips, dark-haired and on bass.

I really only noticed the hair color difference because their playing styles were so different. Cory played with energy pulsing through him. It almost felt spastic, but there was too much control. He frequently played facing Billy.

In contract, Zach played facing the audience, but with eyes closed, dreamily. I thought "Zen", but I had thought that about Frank on the album, and I never really thought that about him before. Is this the kind of bass player James attracts, or something in the influence he exerts? The point is, they radiated very different energies, and yet, there was no conflict. It all gelled together and it worked.

To be fair, everyone here has a lot of experience, and a lot of talent, which helps. With all of that you can still have nasty personality clashes, but these aren't the types. It was a great configuration.

Branx was indeed difficult to find. Street numbers did not appear to be what they should, and I wandered in an open door and found James himself. This was a nice beginning to the evening of course, but I could not really enjoy it because at that point I was seeing "Staff Only" signs, and I did not want to get kicked out before the music even started. Based on later interactions the staff were all pretty nice, but rules are rules, and I get nervous.

Sadly, I did not have another close encounter with Dewees, meaning that I did not get to ask my Guido question, and even more tragically that I did not get to redeem my coupon for a free hug or candy. For those going to upcoming shows, if you buy one of the special covers, check inside. There may be valuable offers.

It was a really good show. There were some shortcomings. The band, having traveled through various climates in close quarters, had been passing around a virus. Thinking of that, I am astounded that any musician ever smokes, given the toll it takes on the lungs and throat, when you are already putting other stress on them. I still think everyone performed well.

In addition, the crowd was lacking. The issue wasn't enthusiasm, because everyone there was into it, but there just weren't that many people. Having the Seahawks in the Super Bowl for only their second time (and first win) apparently took a toll. So, I have seen pictures posted of these packed, enthusiastic crowds, and that wasn't us, and I feel bad about that. Personally, I just tried to sing along more. I don't think there were any hard feelings. After all, we had one person in a chicken suit, and Dewees let one girl borrow his Dad's cowboy hat.

I've been going over the discography again, and I know in the previous review I focused a lot on how it is just constantly amazing what he does, but even thinking that with the material that goes back 16 years, he is a lot better now. No Country for Old Musicians still covers a wide range of sounds, but it is the most cohesive album. The quality is really outstanding, and it's not really that there is less fooling around but there is better fooling around. They pull from the same source material, but "Fowlin' Around" is superior to "My Dad - Happy Chickens".

To be fair, I have changed too. I appreciate Last Stop: Crappy Town more now than I did the last time around. Still, I think Dewees just keeps getting better at this. With the Kickstarter he may have had better resources and autonomy this time, but still, there's definite growth.

The set list pulled in songs from all over. We did get some additional background on some of the songs, which was nice. There were two things that were interesting to me. One is that you really got to see the peril of overly complicated song titles, as James was never able to completely say "Revenge Is a Dish Best Served at Park Chan-Wook's House." Also, he introduced "Get Well Soon" as a song about the Loch Ness Monster getting divorced, and "Congratulations Smack + Katy" as a song about peanut butter and jelly. That's what the videos were about, and but I hadn't taken them too literally. Maybe I was wrong.

Both Pentimento and Dads had announced when they had two songs left, and Reggie and the Full Effect did that too, except that their announcement was that there were two Reggie songs left, and then there would be two Fluxuation songs and two Common Denominator songs. Here's how it worked.

After the last Reggie song, the rest of the band exited. James stayed on stage and removed his shirt and pants, stripping down to a tank top and shorts, and getting his hat back. Now he was Fluxuation, and spoke that way and sang that way for those two numbers, "Gloves" and "Love Reality". I was disappointed to not hear "Sundae, Booty Sundae", but having worked on a set list now, I understand the challenges better.

Then Fluxuation exited, and most of the Common Denominator came on, dressed in nun robes with white masks (so, yeah, I assume that was Billy and everyone, but there was no way of knowing). They played a dark metal processional until they were joined by their leader Klaus (Dewees again) in monk's robes and a bloody face. And while they very much in the spirit of a Finnish metal band, and you would expect, they were better. Because without any interruption of the show, before Klaus placed his bloody hand upon the face of one devoted fan, clearly marking him as the anointed one, I believe he both signaled somehow that the guy removed his glasses, and then whispered cleaning tips to him before they exited. This sort of consideration is important.

Common Denominator played "Dwarf Invasion" and "DMV".

This is probably not the most organized review ever. Some of that is because I have already written a lot, and so I am building on that. I'd like to say I was done now, but there are a few videos that will come up during the music video segment. Links to previous posts are down below.

Otherwise, it rambles because there was a lot going on. You get a lot of show from this band. Maybe more than anyone else. I'm trying to think of anyone else that would compare, and there's not. There may be silliness in the background, but there is still ultimately sincerity behind it, and the execution is not a joke. I could use sui generis here, and it would be appropriate, and that phrase is used all the time when it is not accurate at all, but I'm wasting the opportunity because it's too pretentious.

Other Reggie-related posts:

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/04/band-review-reggie-and-full-effect.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/11/bad-music-writing.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/11/music-review-no-country-for-old.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/11/holiday-gift-guide-for-grieving-my.html

Band Review: Torche

Having a three band lineup for the last show I went to, I was not sure how to handle the reviews, and whom I would put where. Eventually it felt right to put Dads and Pentimento last week. Still giving the headline a Friday spot puts Reggie and the Full Effect on Valentine's Day, and it also felt right to pair them with Torche, because love. I did not realize how difficult it would be to speak coherently about Torche.

I have been going through this sort of evolution about them. It started with Frank Iero tweeting about how good Meanderthal was. I listened to "Meanderthal" and didn't think too much about it, but then "Triumph of Venus" just blew me away, like how are people not constantly talking about how amazing this song is? Sometime later, I realized that "Triumph of Venus" is on the Meanderthal album, so maybe he meant the album not the song. However, on this round of listening, I get why he could say that about "Meanderthal" the song.

At first I felt like what I had was an intellectual appreciation for the band, without really loving them, but it has become more emotional and I am more into them now. Listening to Torche, I get amped up. I could almost say "They shred and it melts my face." That doesn't sound exactly right for me to say, though. I guess if someone else said it I wouldn't argue.

There were things that were interesting about this round of listening. I went through in chronological order. I had tended to think that they really one did one thing, though they did that one thing better than anyone else. No, there are layers I hadn't realized were there before.

The term "sludge metal" suddenly made sense this time around. I still think of Torche more as rock, but I can see how the other time would be applied. There are reviews calling the most recent release, Harmonicraft, lighter, and if that is all you listened to, you would not think it was light, but yeah, as part of the entire oeuvre, it is. They seem to be having more fun in their music videos too.

Speaking of music videos, the video for "Solitary Traveler" has Mold-a-rama figures in it, something which I had not been aware of before our trip to Chicago in October. In addition, I watched an interview with them that took place at the Goose Island Beer Brewery, which we learned about on our Chicago Architecture tour.

These are minor things (and odd, because they are from Miami, so Chicago shouldn't be the key place), but they are helpful. Knowing one thing can help other things fit in. I feel like I don't know enough to write well and really definitively about Torche, but I don't think it's so much that I haven't listened to them enough, but maybe that I don't know enough about other music. Maybe after a few more years of listening and writing, I will get it.

Maybe that will coincide with a chance to see them live. Otherwise, the must hear list is still topped by "Triumph of Venus", but let's add "U.F.O." and "Kicking".

http://www.torchemusic.com/

https://www.facebook.com/torcheofficial

https://twitter.com/torcheband

Being the music writer I want to be

The best thing I wrote about music was not on the blog.

It was when "Master of Puppets" by Metallica was the song of the day. Three of my siblings are big Metallica fans, so I would hear them pretty often, but had never really listened. When I did, I was amazed by the construction of the song. The thought that kept coming back to me was that it was like a symphony.

That kept working in my mind: Why a symphony? Because it has different parts, like movements. Is that how they go?

I looked it up on Wikipedia, and yes, I can argue that "Master of Puppets" follows a basic four movement form. It starts with an opening allegro, at about 3:35 it slows down for the adagio, the scherzo (Laughter! Laughter!) starts at around 5:10, and then around 6:50 it returns to the opening allegro.

I put that in the comments when I posted the song of the day on Facebook, and it did not get any likes or replies. So, if everyone reading would please take a moment to admire Metallica, and me, I would appreciate that.

By telling this story, I have now captured it on the blog, which makes it easy to find. Also, that is kind of really me. I get fixated on something, and so I have to research it and I have to write about it. That's my whole MO, and if it sounds a little OCD, yeah, I've noticed that too.

This is something I care about, and feel like I have to do, so it is worth going over some of the concerns I raised over the past two weeks, and figuring out where to go with them.

For the physical stamina part, if I recall correctly, the show that I was in the best shape for was Jimmy Eat World, and at the time I was doing a combination of walking and an aerobics workout that incorporated some resistance training. I believe the increased endurance from the walking along with the core strengthening from the other workout was what made the difference, so obviously that is the way to go.

I didn't mention organization specifically, but I sort of hinted at it when I was writing about how many bands there are. Actually, I owe thanks to Pete Wentz on this one. One night he tweeted something about looking for unsigned bands, and I had this moment of panic because who is signed and who isn't?

It was then pretty easy to remember Revenir. I knew they were not signed because of something I had seen recently, and while there are some bands who should really avoid signing until they know themselves better, or have more experience, I don't worry about that with Revenir. They have a good sense of identity, they are mature, and Matt at least has worked with a small label and a big label, so I trust them to be able to make good decisions. 

I have absolutely no reason to think that Pete saw my post, but you never know what will come up, and it's good to be ready, so I am working on a spreadsheet. I am still figuring out some things, like what information is helpful. It currently has three tabs: Reviewed, On Deck, and one for suggestions. Filling out the Reviewed tab is the only reason I know that Third Eye Blind was 100, and On Deck has been really helpful for keeping track of whose turn it is.

I'd had mixed feelings about Suggestions. These may be more established bands. If nothing else, Joe Trohman or Alex Levine or Mike Kennerty knows about them. So maybe they don't need the boost as much as some band hopefully following new people on Twitter. However, in today's music industry I'm not even sure what "established" means. A lot of bands could use a boost. So, I will pull from there, and I hope at some point to also be adding more local bands.

Because of the cost and transportation concerns, that will not be right now. I think for this year I am going to try not to duplicate any shows. There are a couple of little twinges, that may get worse when the show dates get closer, but I think it is manageable.

This is where everything gets complex. If I do actually need more money, and if I have to give up on selling a screenplay, which has not happened yet, but could happen, do I change my life and try and find something that pays more? Would I even be able to in this economy? And money is a factor in the transportation issues, but those issues are also issues with flying solo.

Thinking about trying to drive again still makes me feel sick. There is unresolved stuff there. Finding it hard to be social and various related feelings has related roots. It can pose issues for the music writing, but is mainly about everything else.

Here is how I think things will go down. Next week will probably use some stories about the music writing as launching points, but it will not be about the music writing. I expect that will be followed by a week that is semi-political and then a week of comics review.

Then I will have a few weeks writing about music videos, and music, and that will be fun, and a good breather, and a chance to be silly at times, but with some serious notes. That will probably be followed by another week of comic reviews, and maybe some material on books and movies.

At that point, I will need to be done with this reading list, and it will really be time to get down into everything that caring about kids who have depression and eating disorders and suicidal thoughts and self-harming addictions inspires in someone who cut off a connection with her body and any hope of ever being loved many years ago. Fortunately, that writing will only be three days a week.

2014 will be a hard-won year, and I don't really know what victory will look like, but we're going to find out. And it all always connects.

Supporting bands

I wasted an opportunity a while back, with the Grammy Gig of a Lifetime contest.

Fall Out Boy were judges, which is how I knew about it, and I started thinking about bands to nominate. The problem was that the bands could only have four members. Grammys, what do you have against rock?

The standard rock band configuration is five people: singer, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass, and drums. Yes, you can get away with four people if your singer also plays an instrument (which Fall Out Boy does), but then what if they want keyboards? Despite being four-member bands, All American Rejects and My Chemical Romance tend to have six people on stage, and it works.

I ended up nominating Prima Donna, because while they do have five people, they are based in Los Angeles, so transportation costs would not be an issue. I don't think the Grammys saw it that way. I probably should have looked harder for a four-person band. As it was, I was not aware of TEAM (whose singer does play an instrument) during the nomination period, but someone else did, and I was happy to give them my votes.

The winner ended up being Barrett Baber, a country singer from Arkansas. I didn't watch, and everything I remember people even talking about was not really musical. Well, what can you expect from a show that limits band size to four people?

There were still some interesting things. One reason I made the 5-member band I nominated Prima Donna, instead of Revenir (besides logistics) was that Prima Donna had live performance footage on line, and Revenir did not at that time, despite having other videos. Different opportunities may require having different things available, and so presenting your band in different ways, over different formats, is something to think about. And I think about these things all the time, because I care.

A band follows me (or I have always liked them, or they opened for someone I have always liked, or something), and I follow them and eventually a review happens. Those have been pretty good experiences. There is a lot of talent out there, and a lot of heart, and I do have a soft spot for musicians. I get attached and want good things for them.

I also have to move on, because there are more bands to review, and more music history to learn, and there is only so much time available. That's why I started doing the songs of the day. It's a chance to go back and remember, and maybe someone who didn't read the review will click on the song.

I have had hopes at times that my music reviews would be a way for people to discover new bands, and that hasn't really panned out. I think the actual role I fill is that the band can show the review to their parents and say "Look! Someone wrote about us." I can live with that. If I didn't believe in doing things for parents, I wouldn't have a mortgage.

There is generally this feeling of wanting to do more. So sometimes there are contests where you can vote, and they do get a slot in a Battle of the Bands, or they get ranked in AltPress. I did vote for these metal awards, and it was amazing to see that I recognized names in all of the main categories. A year ago, that would not have been the case. Sometimes you can support crowd-sourcing projects. Also, I take requests for music suggestions very seriously.

Another pointless story may help here. I was out for karaoke in December, and I was able to find some songs, but two I couldn't were "Mercy Me" by Alkaline Trio and "Saturday Night" by the Misfits. The KJ said they were just too obscure, and this is a KJ from a pair that has so many songs available they don't even use books.

"Saturday Night" may be legitimately obscure (and whenever I do get a chance to sing it, I will sound totally demented; I accept this); "Mercy Me" shouldn't be. It had a release and a video. It charted a little. It was featured in a video game.

The problem is that with the current musical landscape, it's hard to be noticed at all. They do get songs from Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga, but I don't want to sing that. Yes, there are many songs from the '80s and '90s that I can work with, but it shouldn't stop there, and it largely does. Country music does get updated, but they have their own separate channel.

There are things that can be kind of nice about this. Some of those connections, where a band can recognize a fan from Twitter, would be less likely with more mainstream success. There are things I like about shows in smaller venues. Financially, though, there can be issues, and some of the music is beautiful and helpful; it should reach more people.

I have written about this before, and I don't really know the answers. Certainly not downloading music illegally is important, but getting that bigger audience, and reaching more people, that's hard. And, it's not my job, really - bands need to be on top of that for their own sake - but I want to help.

December 16th through the 22nd

I think I am ready to sort out that week now. I've only been working on the post for two weeks.

It started with a comment on my blog. I had three posts about death that week, and in the first one I mentioned Ken Ober. That post was inspired by the reaction to Paul Walker's death, but the more important part was Ken, because there was grief there, and a lack of closure.

I have no idea how it was seen, but this was the comment I got:

Hi Gina,

If it gives you any kind of closure, I can tell you that Ken Ober died from heart failure -- not a heart attack, but from the gradual progression of heart disease which, it seems, is primarily hereditary. His death was sudden and unexpected but clearly the disease had been at work for a long time. But, please, even if I've helped with some closure, don't let it stop you from saying things about Ken. He's worth remembering.

Regards,

Ken's brother

I kind of hate writing about this, because it's special, and I don't want to cheapen it, but it is special, so I am writing about it. A question was answered, but more than that there was the acknowledgment, and the shared feeling, and the connection.

In writing, that week was a lot about death, but it was also about life. I posted that during the day, but that night I went to a concert. It was a great show, which would make for a pretty good week anyway. Also, I knew that I would review those bands Thursday and Friday, and they would be bands #99 and #100 since I started doing this. That felt big, and I liked that it was going to coincide with a live show.

I also liked that it ended up being who it was: TEAM and Third Eye Blind. In the reviews I wrote about their mutual appreciation and their fostering of connections, but I am going to give an example. December 30th, Alex Kopp tweeted "Listen to @WeAreCalledTEAM everyday. Just do it." and then Alex LeCavalier replied that he could not stop listening, because they were so good.

I hate musician feuds, but even more so I love musicians supporting other musicians. I love that their egos are not too large to let them appreciate someone else. I love that they don't get this mindset that there is only a limited amount of success available and they need to be competitive and greedy about it. Basically I love people supporting each other and being kind to each other. Maybe musicians stick out more.

And overall, both of these bands have been great about paying attention to the fans too. I wrote about Third Eye Blind Wednesday, and I will write more about TEAM tomorrow, but they provide a lot of warm feelings. So, among the various bands and members, there were favorites of my reviews, which I appreciated, but there were also comments on the blog.

These were lengthy, detailed comments, one from someone at the show, one from a long time fan who had not been able to go. Again, there is that connection. I don't know them, but we all care about something, and have feelings about it, and it was good.

I guess what I am getting at there is that week it really felt like the blog mattered. Then, December 22nd, Patrick Stump replied to me.

I was about to leave for church, and I saw that he tweeted "@HarryConnickJR Makes such great holiday records." I replied "You would too. I can see you doing great with standards." What I did not know was that just an instant later he replied "I'd love to sing standards. Someday."

When I came back I had messages asking how I was even alive, and I saw that a tweet I was mentioned in had a lot of Favorites and Re-tweets (currently 78 and 10). That is cool, and getting a reply is cool, but the part that I really liked is that it validated what I had written when I reviewed them, thinking that he would do well with standards, though probably when he was older.

I have started getting better at hearing things, like picking up on when a band uses different tunings, or why they would do it. It makes me feel like I am actually getting good at this. So all of that happening around my 100th review felt significant. It wasn't a culmination, because I'm still doing it, but it was something. More good experiences keep happening. Maybe two more quotes can tie it all together.

“Hip-hop writing was done by people who were looking at it it from the outside. It wasn’t life or death. They weren’t gonna die if they didn’t write about the stuff. Whereas we probably would have.” – Reginald Dennis on The Source magazine, from Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: A History of the Hip-Hop Generation by Jeff Chang, p 412

"You are what you love, not what loves you back."

(And yes, that last one is because of the line "You are what you love, not who loves you" in the Fall Out Boy song "Save Rock and Roll", which I guess ties in well, except I am hearing it in Elton John's voice, not Patrick's.)

These things that I write and draw, I feel compelled to do. I will be restless and unhappy if I don't do it. If I am the only one who cares about it, that's fine; I still need it.

However, more and more lately I want to share it. I end up sending links to different people, or responding to things, and I feel silly doing it, but it's been turning out okay. It is loving me back. That means a lot. 

Related posts: 

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/06/fall-out-boy-this-isnt-just-concert.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/12/concert-review-team.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/12/concert-review-third-eye-blind.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/12/and-then-everybody-died.html

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2014/02/internet-connectivity.html

Concert Review: Dads

It is probably because I have been studying emo, but it has occurred to me that Dads would have fit comfortably into the DC origins, like maybe they could play a show with Beefeater. They actually do list emo on their Facebook page, along with indie and punk. That sounds about right, but does not do much to tell you what a show sounds like.

There are only two people on stage: Scott Scharinger on guitar and John Bradley on drums. Sometimes Bradley sings, sometimes Scharinger, but Bradley does most of the talking.

That description may lead you to imagine something stripped down, like the White Stripes, but Dads is nothing like the White Stripes. Their sound is full, and the stage seems full, some of which may be due to Bradley's loose-limbed playing style. I'm not sure if he actually plays so much differently, or if it's just that I don't often get a good look at the drummer, but it was interesting to see, and it worked. The two of them were greater than the sum of their parts.

The music has a fair amount of variation, which I believe comes from a willingness to experiment. This is most evident on Brown on Brown, parts of which remind me of whale songs, and sometimes the ocean, but not generally at the same time. I thought there was effective use of feedback.

My favorite album has been American Radass (This Is Important). It is a bit livelier, though Brush Your Teeth Again ;) is fun to listen to, and has really interesting song structures. For Radass, I especially like the fast pace on "Groin Twerk" and the intro on "Grunt Work (The '69 Sound)".

At this point, there may be a false impression about the prevalence of parentheses in their titles. There is really only one other title that does it, also on Radass. However, it is worth mentioning the titles, because there is a contrast going on, where the titles often sound humorous, but the music sounds very serious. There may be a hint in the Facebook address, but I didn't get the impression that was it either.

The other thing I should mention is that there is some jumping around if you want to make purchases. Music downloads would be through Bandcamp. This is pretty normal, and prices are very reasonable.

If you want CDs, you go through http://www.sswatcher.jp/record/show/1713?p=1&q=dads&a=, but vinyl is through http://flannelgurl.bigcartel.com/product/dads-american-radass-this-is-important-12-inch, and other materials are through http://dads.storenvy.com/. It's probably not a big deal, because I think most music buyers would stick to one format, but it can be a little confusing.

My only other thought is that they should get together with Vinyl Over Wine.

http://wearentdads.com/

https://www.facebook.com/dads420

http://dadsnj.bandcamp.com/

https://twitter.com/wearentdads

UPDATE: Just heard from Dads that Brown on Brown is not them. That means all the better stuff is them, but that also means there are four different entities listed as Dads on Spotify, and they are not well-delineated.

Concert Review: Pentimento

On my first listen to Pentimento I liked them pretty well. Listening to them this week, they have really been affecting me, and I don't know whether it is because now I have seen them live, or just that the emotions of the music are coinciding with a phase in my life that they work with.

The music is powerful. It is not just the bass player's arms.

One of the things that struck me is that there is a pretty consistent lack of rhyming. That doesn't always work, but here it makes everything feel visceral and raw. Hear the cry of my heart. They are the relatable sounds of uncertainty, and feeling disregarded, and worry about throwing it all away. The lyrics are worth reading if you get a chance, but you feel them either way.

The main purchasing site seems to be via Paper+Plastick, but there is some availability via Amazon:

http://paperplastick.limitedrun.com/products/518176-pentimento-inside-the-sea

http://www.pentimentony.com/

https://www.facebook.com/PentimentoNY

http://www.youtube.com/pentimentoNY

https://twitter.com/pentimentoNY

Internet Connectivity

November 11th, Kryz Reid of Third Eye Blind tweeted that they had a day off in Madison, Wisconsin, and that it was not a typo.

I laughed, but then I remembered Lisa. This is the Lisa who introduced me to the Misfits, which set off the chain reaction that got me to being this concert-going, band reviewing, comic writing weirdo. Lisa had gone to school in Madison, and told me it was the original Keep It Weird city.

We used to have desks across from each other. Now we both telecommute, but we have chat options across the company network. I asked her what there was to do there, and the answer was a lot more than I thought. I would kind of like to go to Madison now. They have a Mustard Museum, and a taxidermy museum in the basement of a funeral home, and other cool things, some of which I passed on to Kryz. The easiest one was probably State Street for people watching and shopping. He did favorite, and a little bit later he tweeted this:

https://twitter.com/Kryzreid/status/400041935546503168/photo/1

That felt pretty cool. I know he might have ended up on State Street anyway, and we are not best friends or anything. There is still something amazing though, in that one person can express a thought in one place, and another person can see it, and contact someone familiar with that place, and get information. There is no searching for phone numbers or hassle; actually it was fun. It was fun to learn about Madison, and have a somewhat silly conversation with a friend, and it is amazing that we can do this while our dogs sleep around us and without having to deal with weather and public transportation.

In this writing segment I am struggling a lot. There are all of these points I want to make, and so I start writing things, and then I realize, no, that one doesn't need to be said, or that one does, but this needs to come first, and a lot of that is because of how it connects.

There is a long post that I wrote most of last week, which does involve Third Eye Blind, but not only them, and I keep putting it off because it feels like it is too much unless I cover other things first and build a foundation for it.

Some of that is because of different platforms. There are music related things in the post that happen via Twitter, Blogger, and in the real world. There is also a blog story that doesn't relate to music, but it does relate to the writing, and the connecting. Beyond that one post, there are things that are important with the teenagers, but they came about because of the bands. I am starting to get more involved with online feminism, but I swear it happened because of a comic book writer. Plus there is the constant circling back, because so much goes back to Lisa's alternate song list. There were other pieces in place, but she got the ball rolling, and it is still mind-boggling how much followed from it.

So there is this messiness that feels like it is holding me back until I sort it out, but I am not sure how neat any amount of sorting will get it. This is possibly how it should be; but it is frustrating.

Still, this segment of the writing is primarily about bands, and that is something I have been thinking about with following bands on Twitter. My last two concerts were Third Eye Blind and Reggie and the Full Effect. Both of those involve following individual musicians. It was interesting, because it led to a greater sense of anticipation for the show itself as there are updates about the tour's progress. They're getting closer. They're working their way up.

I'm not sure how much it changes the experience of the concert itself, because there are things about it that feel very much like they did before Twitter. There may be a great sense of investment in wanting the concert to go well, but I think that is about the same.

I do think it increases the recognition. It is so easy to learn everyone's name now, and who plays which instruments. Now there are often stories with the name. As Third Eye Blind took the stage, I do remember thinking "There's Kryz!", and then filling out where everyone else was. When I saw them in 2000, I'm not even sure I knew Stephen's name. I know I didn't know any of the others.

Now I know who everyone is. Does it change the concert? Maybe. I like it better because I think knowing people is important, and there are different levels of knowing, but again, that's where the internet gets messy.

When random bands started following me, I understood that it was an attempt to get me to check them out, and that I was one of many follows. Sometimes though, there would be a reply or something that would make me realize that we had become people to each other. Maybe we got there at different times, but it was no longer random. It happened with other fans too. First you are just liking a picture or answering a question you see, and then it becomes, "Hey. It's you." 

And it is a messy thing. A big part of appreciating the Reggie tour has been Cory White's tour diary, which is on Tumblr, but I see the posts because of Twitter. I posted about him helping me understand something about guitar on Blogger, and he told me he liked it on Twitter then, but then he mentioned it again in real life as he gave me guitar picks and hugs, and explained some more things to me. And that was a night where being there alone was feeling worse than usual, so bless Cory for recognizing me, and for being so sweet and kind.

As I write about two bands, I am listening to a third, Gin Blossoms (No Chocolate Cake), because that was the right mood for now. I have interacted with various members there, in real life and on Twitter. I am not sure whether I am familiar to them, or that just sometimes we have good interactions that fade back into the mass of all fan interactions. That's okay.

I will soon be switching to post the song of the day, from Coming, and then I will switch to listening to Pentimento and Dads so I can put their reviews up tomorrow and Friday. They may see these postings or not, and that's okay. I will listen while I organize my room and clear things out, in the hopes that some physical organization will aid the mental organization.

Also as I write, Alex LeCavalier of Third Eye Blind tweeted about a certain bass line requiring a pick, and I asked about that, because right now I don't have a feel for picks at all, but I sense that will have to change. And he answered! It doesn't make us best friends, but that's okay.

I know that there are a lot of different experiences to have with the internet, and we will return to that eventually. For now I have to say that there are a lot of really beautiful experiences you can have too. Lines blur, and it can be messy, so respect and kindness are really important, but those are important in other types of encounters too.

It can be really beautiful.

Can't stop, won't stop

Yesterday's post was written humorously, but it was also true. I am old, increasingly worried about money, and I do not have my own transportation. My mother worries when I am out late, which I know sounds lame, but while there is a limit to how much I can let that hold me back, there is also a limit to how callous I should be about that. And I don't love being there alone; it's just how it works out.

Also, this could be a very reasonable time to curtail my concert going. It would be hard to top 2013. I had written earlier about how magical 2013 was for comic events, and none of that will be happening this year; that is probably way more true for concerts.

Last year I went to ten shows. If we include the first show of 2014, and those two shows from late 2012, that includes five bands that I had missed chances to see, leaving only Maroon 5, about whom I have been the most ambiguous. It included two bands that I had never heard of until I got on Twitter (and grew to love MCR), and two bands that I only knew about because they followed me on Twitter, and one that I knew before, but only started to love late. It included opening bands that I have grown to love, but would never have known about. And frankly, it included some bands that I was not sure if I would still like them after so much time, but I did, so I guess given the chance I do still go to Maroon 5.

I was thinking about it when a friend posted her concert bucket list, and I realized that I've lived mine. There's not that sense of urgency anymore. There are bands I want to see, because I think they will be good shows. Right now, that list is mainly Dave Hause, Lit, and Alkaline Trio. I would like to see Torche, and while previously I thought I would be annoyed at a Blink-182 show, I think I would like to try it now. And of course, My Chemical Romance when they do their reunion tour in 2018 - I'd want to go to that. (Don't. Say. A Word!)

And that's where we get to the impossibility of changing, because I love it too much.

I love listening to bands while I work and write, but seeing them play is a completely different thing. That statement is so inherently true I don't even know how to qualify it, so I am going to point out a few different things from Sunday night that wouldn't necessarily fit in the reviews.

Pentimento: I noticed that the bass player was playing really - well, I was thinking of it as low, but he described it as close to the bridge, which is a much better way of expressing it. I asked him about it, and it was basically that it felt right for him, but he mentioned the power of the bass, and that it was a way of harnessing that. And I thought, without saying it, that the real power is in his arms. Seriously, it was obvious watching him talk: there is serious power there. Then I noticed that Zach, the bass player in Reggie and the Full Effect, played that way too. It may be very common, but I haven't noticed that before.

Dads: They didn't have a bass player, which is why they do not come up in the previous anecdote. However, I had been listening to the wrong band in preparation. There are two Dads on Spotify. Looking at their merch, seeing their song titles and logos, I can at least narrow that down.

And they were good; it was such a good show. I could still find new bands and write about music, but I would miss concerts. I don't want to pull back, I want to delve further in. I want to go to NAMM now! I'm not a manufacturer or distributor, and I'm not really press, but now I know it exists and I want to go. There's still so much to learn.

Therefore, I see myself giving in, and buying a ticket to Dave Hause, even though no one wants to go with me, and though while it is in a better part of town, it will still be far enough and get out late enough that I will be needing to afford a taxi again. At least I should be getting some overtime this month.

Viva la rock!

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/01/concert-scorecard.html

Your aging concert correspondent

I'm really tired and a little sore, but my hearing and voice have held up surprisingly well. Yes, I went to a concert last night. It was a good concert, and I will write many things about it, but today I am focusing on concert-going in general for this time of life.

I have been 42 for about 2 1/2 weeks now. It's not really that different from 41. It is quite a bit different from 14, and even 29.

I am tired. I went to bed around 1 and got up around 6:30. My feet and hips are sore, but less so than when I crawled into bed. My shoulders are better than usual; I think they got loosened up a little when I was waving my hands in the air like I just didn't care. (But I was waving them because I did care, so I'm not sure that expression makes sense.)

I wrote about getting knocked around at AFI. While I don't have any memory of the how the bruise that appeared on my left shin the next day got there, I do know how the right shin bruise got there a few weeks later. At Third Eye Blind there were some people in front of me who left early. I planned to move into their space, but those dividers for the bar are on raised boards, which I hadn't realized until I hit my foot on one and went down.

There were no injuries last night, but having now been at Branx, I think my decision to not go to the Torche show was correct. Even with a show that ended at 10 (and they were pretty much on schedule), getting home involved finding a not obvious route to the Burnside Bridge, walking past sleeping vagrants and people who were shouting at each other but maybe not fighting, and about a 20 minute wait for a bus. And I know homeless people are more likely to be victims than perpetrators, but seeing people going through trash and sleeping outdoors on a relatively cold night does not necessarily make you feel great about humanity.

(Obviously I could have grabbed a taxi, and I have done that before, but I hate how expensive that gets. So I spent an hour longer in transit, probably, with a lot more walking, but I finished my book.)

So there is kind of this question for me of "Am I getting too old for this?" I keep thinking that the right protocol would be to take one Advil before I leave, one when I get back, and to always remember to have ear plugs, but I never remember to do this.

This would be a reasonable time to retire. I have seen so many of the bands that I've wanted to by now. For the various lists I have had of bands I needed to see, and that I cruelly missed out on, I've seen them all except Maroon 5 now, and I have become really ambiguous about them.

So, having had so many good experiences, and with concerns about money, time and general stamina, letting that go would be completely reasonable.

I'm afraid it will also be impossible. More on that tomorrow.

http://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/11/concert-etiquette.html