Monday, August 21, 2017

Total Eclipse of the Sun

I am more and more aware of missed opportunities lately, where the timing really matters. This is a rather silly one.

There has been so much talk of today's eclipse, but there were other things going on. Other than confirming that we would have glasses and that we were not going to travel South to catch the other three percent that we can't see from home, I have not thought of it much until a few days ago.

There were things that seemed interesting; I never thought about there being different strengths of welding helmets. I know you can use a pinhole viewer, and there are pinhole cameras - could you photograph the eclipse that way? (There's probably not enough exposure time to get a crisp shot.) There could still be interesting experiments to do.

If I had thought about it more, I would have been tempted to try a pinhole camera, but my biggest regret is not recording a song parody.

I was thinking ahead for the next few daily songs and thinking about today. The most obvious one is Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" -- that one is so obvious she is performing it during the eclipse -- but I wished that Weird Al Yankovic had parodied it.

Just in case he had, I did some searches. There was nothing by Weird Al, but Don McLean and some German band called Einst├╝rzende Neubauten have songs. Neither of them are as dramatic as Bonnie Tyler. That's when I started wanting to do my own.

I wrote many parody lyrics back in the day, so that was something I could do. I thought about just posting them, but it would be so much better to have something recorded. I have wanted to make my own daily songs at some point.

This is not the time for that. It's not just that I don't have a means of recording either; Bonnie Tyler goes both too high and too throaty for me. Too late I thought of asking a friend who does some recording, but there just wasn't sufficient time. Yes, there's another eclipse in nine years, but we are not in its path.

So, here we have just a blog post, with some lyrics at the end. I did not write enough lyrics for the whole song. I could have added more, but learning that the original version was over seven minutes so it was already chopped down makes me feel better about this. This is the PSA version.

Total Eclipse of the Sun

Turn around
It's stronger than it looks
You're not going to feel it
burn a hole in your eyes

Turn around
Or put on the glasses
Are they from somewhere approved?
Is it ISO certified?

Turn around, for your eyes,
It's just a few hours
but your retina's for life

Turn around, for your eyes
Every now and then someone goes blind!

I know you want to see first contact,
and to see the crescent sun,
the diamond ring and Bailey's beads,
and the reverse before it's done,
but you must protect your eyes,
so much can go wrong

I know that it's the day and looking like the night, but you can watch the moon and still keep your sight.

Or welding glasses too, if they're thirteen or fourteen. If you see anything but sun, you know it's too weak.

Use a pinhole camera or the leaves on a tree, it's only safe to look during totality!

Don't damage your eyes!
You have to protect your sight. You have to protect your sight.

Some things don't really blind you, but this one is true, protect your eyes until it is done. Don't regret where you look for the total eclipse of the sun.

There'll be so much else to see if your eyes still work, I just want to help everyone.
Don't regret where you look for the total eclipse of the sun.

Please protect your eyes.
Please protect your eyes.

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