I have made a vision board now. It is posted above
my computer monitor where it can inspire me and remind me of my goals.
Of course it did not go exactly as planned. I wrote
about how I thought it would go a few months ago:
The part that went most according to plan is that
there is the chakra image and the cornucopia next to each other. Together they
represent health, and individually they represent abundance, balance, and
strength coming from building up from a good foundation.
The book shelf representing the books I want to read
is there, but instead of another shelf for what I want to write I have a stack
of script pages with more pages falling into place on the stack, plus a pile of
bills next to it.
The most obscure symbol is above the cornucopia. It
is a picture of a house, and within the house there is a heart, and within the
heart there is a paw print.
A lot of my anxiety comes from this house and its
residents, human and otherwise. Perhaps I should mention there were cash
outlays to the plumber and the vet this week. I had the money because of my tax
refund, but there were other things that were wanted, and I can see other
things that will come up soon; the tax refund only comes once a year.
My desire is for all of that to be okay. A lot of
that comes with being able to spend money as needs come up - that's why both
the stack of cash and the cornucopia are there. Not all needs are financial,
but that's why there needs to be an aligned and balanced person in the middle.
The biggest surprise was everything else. There are
five other graphics representing places I want to go, in the order I want to go
to them. The first three have time constraints, where I need to accomplish some
things fairly quickly to make them happen.
That urgency was a part of why I was ready to make
this now. I still have some bad habits that are holding me back. I can get very
frustrated with myself, but I felt like I needed more positive motivation. I
wanted inspiration.
I realized as I was doing this that it would need to
be refreshed periodically. There are some things that I will always want in my
life, but some of them may become well-established enough that there isn't the
yearning. There should be new things that I want. That's why this is "A
Vision Board" instead of "The Vision Board" - I will have other
visions.
There isn't a graphic depicting the desire for
romance or a new relationship. That is not where my head is right now, and my
head is kind of full for adding anything else now.
I still draw like I did when I was 14, and no
immediate changes seem likely there, but it's good enough for what I need. I
had originally had some hopes that I could do a collage instead of drawing, but
I could never find pictures for what I wanted.
It's also good for me to draw, and I know that, but
making it a priority when there are so many other things going on is hard.
Probably the main reason this happened is because of something silly I did, but
it was good.
I was talking with Julie about various restaurants
at Disneyland. We have certain ones that we tend to keep returning to, but we know
that we are missing some things. I had done some looking to get a better idea,
but I wanted it organized, which led to entering things into a spreadsheet,
because I am me. It was still a little confusing, especially for certain areas,
and I started wanting to map it out.
As a busy person, it could not possibly be the best
use of my time to draw a food map of Disneyland, but her birthday was coming up, and I just went for it, ending up with
two maps, because I also did the California Adventure side.
The project let me feel the relaxation of drawing
again. No, they don't look great, but as I was deciding to do it one of the
main things that helped me is that it was a relief to be working on something
that wasn't high stakes. I am going to work harder to bring regular drawing
back in.
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