Wednesday, February 01, 2017

My birthday retreat

Things didn't go according to plan, but then there kind of weren't plans, and it ended up being fine anyway.

I did initially want to make everything really perfect, so I felt like I needed a plan, but was stymied at what plans to make. I knew to really have a whole day to myself I needed to check in the night before, and I knew the main day would be January 16th. That meant coming home on my birthday. There were also friends with whom I had been wanting to get together, so it was putting a lot together but I could have them come over on the 17th as long as I kept it relatively simple. I was still blocked on an itinerary.

I knew I wanted to soak in a hot tub, and I wanted to be alone for that. That meant that a hot tub probably was not feasible if I stayed in the area - based on my searches - but there were three choices that at least seemed to have pretty good tubs, depending on which rooms you chose. I ended up choosing the Paramount, as covered on the travel blog.

One thing that excited me about my January plans was that I would have things to write about. It may be silly, but when I committed to blogging every day, it was a big undertaking and I am proud of what I have done with that. As my life started spiraling downward it hurt to feel like there wouldn't be more trips, both for the enjoyment that going places brings on its own, but also for having things to write about. Maybe I could do things around town, but even then how would I get the free time? So making time and seeing things happening was a boost in itself.

That led me to thinking if I could see other things while I was down there, like maybe explore the Park blocks or try a restaurant I had really wanted to go to. Maybe I could get a massage, or meet up with a friend. There were all of these possibilities, and I researched some options, but nothing ever felt right and I finally decided to not have any plans. I would just do what I felt like doing at the time and honor that, despite not being a huge fan of spontaneity.

Then it snowed. A lot.

Being overscheduled could have been a drag on a regular day, but it would have been impossible for while I was there. One of the reasons I chose the Paramount was proximity to the train - that ended up being much more helpful than I could have expected.

I did venture out a little bit during the day, not going very far, but mainly I stayed in my room. I did some drawing, but mainly I read, alternating between books and magazines, and I rested. I took two soaks and some hot showers.

One thing I had not really thought about was that being in water puts me in a specific state energy-wise. It's not exactly tired, but I am slower, and a lot of activity wouldn't have worked with that. Really I rested, and I wasn't responsible for anyone but myself for over 24 hours. That is what I needed most.

It did not match the original vision, because then I was at the beach, and there would have been a massage, but probably also a longer time period. I know because I found my journal where I had written out the original exercise. The one thing that I decided was non-negotiable for this day was the chocolate-covered strawberries, which was the one food thing that really came through (and which was a little odd because they had never really popped up in any visualization before).

I had thought I would get them at Safeway, and I wasn't going that far. Then I remembered that there was a Moonstruck Chocolates at Pioneer Place, and that was closer, so I went there and Moonstruck is gone.

I reconciled myself to that, because after all, if you are eating strawberries in January they have been flown in from somewhere, and also, there can be a future. Maybe sometimes I will try it again, this time at the beach, or I will find a place with a hot tub in the room. Does that require Vegas? I don't know. Right now me time usually means clearing out a few hours, but maybe there will be a longer time again. Maybe the strawberries could appear then. I mean, I had to postpone the party, but it is still going to happen.

I had reconciled myself to that, but then when my sisters asked if it had been what I wanted, and I mentioned that, they went and got me some chocolate-covered strawberries.

We do need to look after ourselves, but sometimes other people look after you too.

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