Now what?

Friday I mentioned that with those last two posts done, there was a relief to having completed things that were important to me and that had worried me.

The release is still there, but it has raised further questions.

I suppose it was connecting the defense of James Dewees to the school board elections. In both cases, here was something that felt very important, and that I was noticing things that other people were missing. Also, both involved a fair amount of research. 

It felt good writing them. There was agitation too, but it ultimately was satisfactory following clues and finding answers. It felt good writing it out.

I might be a reporter. I might be a crusader. 

While I don't have much in the way of training, I do have a sharp mind, including a good memory and skill at making connections, and a good grasp of the English language.

Unfortunately, I am quite positive that I can't make a living at this. 

People who have been completed journalism school and won awards for their work are struggling to make a living; this is not a good time to break in.

In the past, my writing has always been disconnected from making a living anyway, but for most of that time period I had a job that was at least getting by. 

That seems like less of an option now. It is hard to assess how much of my exhaustion is residue from the care giving and will continue to get better, or how much of it is just being older and much more beaten down by the world. I know that once I am working again -- which needs to be soon -- I won't be able to keep up with the pace of reading and writing and researching that I am doing. I am not satisfied with my pace now, so subtracting (at least) 40 hours per week is not going to improve that. 

That's fine. That is life. I am just trying to sort out a path that seems right.

The other downside to this need to raise alarms and advocate and teach is that I don't really have much of an audience. I mentioned that in the post about the press failing us. If something is really important, and attention and change is needed, I am not particularly helpful for that.

Would anyone famous like to hire me to be their ghost writer?

(For clarity, on publish day most of my blog posts gets between 20 to 30 views. It is less for the music posts, but they were higher before the break. After a few weeks the page hits go up into the 90s, usually. I don't know if those are unique views or repeats.)

I could work on building up my reader count, but it would probably require building up my Twitter count. 

Currently, my social media is mostly relationship based. I do follow some people who don't follow me, but I like them or think they tweet good things. Mostly I see tweets from people I care about, and can somewhat keep track of, and that's the way I like it.

Do I change that?

I have had this idea that if fame seemed likely, I would lock @sultryglebe and keep that for my friends, then build a new account for the public/promotional side. 

That does not sound like any fun at all.

There you have my dilemma. Perhaps it is not too different from that of lots of people. How do I make what I do meaningful? How much do I have to give? How do I make the next house payment? 

I am not sure I can answer those questions until my job situation is resolved. Then, it might literally be a matter of putting meaning on hold for a while. 

Plus, if I start trying to build a follower count, and then I can't maintain it while working full time (I had more readers before my posting frequency started dropping), well, does it even make sense to try?

Related post:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2021/06/how-and-why-press-is-failing-us.html