Ruined for Rom-Coms: APAHM 2021

This title uses the abbreviation for Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month, which may be a little more elegant than some of the others. 

Realistically, I understand that some of my dissatisfaction with the titles is social conditioning where talking about race feels rude. I acknowledge this discomfort and affirm that it is worthwhile.

I avoided Netflix for a long time; the last thing that I need is another monthly expense. As I was setting some viewing and listening priorities (along with the reading), I was frustrated that so much content is now part of paid streaming services. 

I am still holding out on Tidal, ESPN+ and Disney+, but I gave in on Netflix specifically for Hannah Gadsby: Nanette, When They See Us, and (most relevant to today's post) Always Be My Maybe.

Those were the primary reasons I gave in, but then there were lots of other things that I could and did want to watch. I've gone past the free trial, okay? The then question became what to watch, in what order. It totally made sense to watch Always Be My Maybe in May, along with To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

It appears that I can no longer view romantic comedies without being distracted by the main characters' trauma. And the supporting characters' trauma. 

I initially blamed it on all the trauma reading that I have done recently. I am more aware of signs and effects and it's not like turning my brain off is my best skill.

To be fair, I have kind of hated a lot of romantic comedies, as least in concept. The last one I really loved was While You Were Sleeping, from 1995.

Around the time that Julia Roberts was the queen of the genre, I remember reading an article pointing out that a lot of the class barriers and sexual mores that used to drive the genre were no longer in place. Because of that, the films often made the romantic obstacle that the characters were just jerks to each other. That can be hard to get behind.

(And some of them would have only taken a little more effort to fix, fyi.)

These two films were both cute and funny. The characters are generally sympathetic. I kept wanting to yell at the screen:

Can't you see how this is affecting him? Shouldn't somebody mention that?

There were dead mothers in both, plus other parental issues, so my tether might be a little shorter there. 

Then, as things get resolved, my brain is reminding me of what things are still going to come up without being directly addressed. I like to think that they have the commitment and the resources to work it out, but it's there.

Another movie I watched via Netflix was The Lovebirds, with Kumail Nanjiani and Issa Rae. I did better with that one. It was probably not technically a romantic comedy though. 

It started with the end of a really good date where there is an adorable resistance to parting. Then it fast forwards to where the relationship appears to be on the rocks, with heads constantly butting and poor communication. Absurd coincidences and bad luck (and realistically some poor decisions) give them a chance to realign and improve. 

Plus, there were no obvious parental issues. 

That can only help.