James Dewees is not a predator

This is not my story, but I am still aware of it and it bugs me.

James Dewees is my favorite musician, and the one whose work has meant the most to me personally. As I finish the retrospective it is appropriate to end with him, but as I thought about writing it I keep remembering the accusations. 

Previously when I have reviewed his work or given him one of the daily songs, there was a part of me hoping that someone would object so I could just go off and clear the air. That never happened, which may mean people will read this and think "Who?" All shall be explained.

James Dewees is a musician who has played with many bands, including New Found Glory and Coalesce, more famously The Get Up Kids and My Chemical Romance, and his own band, Reggie and the Full Effect.

Getting disclosure out of the way, we have talked at shows four times, the last time being June of 2018, and he has done video conferencing concerts for me twice, once through Kickstarter, and once through a promotion. We were also friends on Facebook, but I was added in with 200 over friend requests. I do follow him on Twitter and Instagram, and he does not follow back. 

He does recognize me and know me by name in person, and recognizes many fans that way. I am not sure he would recognize my Twitter profile as me. We are not in contact. I did send him e-mail that I was doing this, but I am not confident that he is checking e-mail. Most of what I know is from Facebook or Instagram, and I will specify where things came from.

The story is mainly from Instagram, and it starts here:

https://www.instagram.com/beentherefeltthatoverit/

The first accusations of James being a sexual predator came in August 2019, and I heard of it no later than September. 

My first reaction was that didn't sound like James, but that is a normal reaction; it doesn't get us anywhere to assume that someone is not abusive just because they have never abused you. The answer is to listen, so I read through every single post.

There was some bad behavior mentioned that I did not think sounded like James, but probably more to the point was that there wasn't really any predatory behavior described. They used the term "predator", but they didn't back it up.

I don't have perfect recall for this, because later they locked the page. When it was open again there were some things that I could tell had changed. 

Because of the changes, I created a document and started copying things in, just in case there were more changes or the page got locked again. There are some screen shots in my document, but most of the information was in the comments, so I copied and pasted it. I did that April 21st, 2020, and it was even more clear at that point that James is not a predator. 

There were two things that I remembered for sure that had changed. One was that before the lockdown they had said that before they released proof they needed to gain 50 likes. That is referenced on a post from September 9th, but they said that it was "sad that you can't make a joke". That was recanted so early I think they must have gotten a lot of criticism for it.

The other thing I remember for sure though was that they said he was threatening to release nudes of them, and that post was gone after they re-opened. There was a later reference to fear of him sending out nudes, but not that he was threatening.

To me, it looks like what happened during the locked period was a removal of anything that could easily require proof -- like a threatening text message -- if it came to a defamation case. 

They do post text messages, and we'll get to that, but in terms of specific accusations about harassment or grooming or anything like that, it was gone. Then it becomes things like, "She is an adult but she looked young!" which does not make someone a predator. There is a screenshot of an exchange with a woman who was creeped out after reading their page because James kissed her on the cheek once, though she wasn't opposed to it but now she felt weird... that also does not make him a predator. (9/9/19)

The earlier complaints seem to be more about money, implying that he used women for money, except it seems retroactive after there was no proof of other things.

A common case that you see on Judge Judy is that a couple will break up and separate. Then someone retroactively wants rent or money for food that was a "loan". The judge usually throws it out, because they were living as a couple and couples do share resources.

I suspect that what they really wanted to say is that James Dewees is a loser. Probably they could get James to agree to that, though I don't think that would really be right or fair on either side. Of course, if they made a page calling James Dewees a loser, many people would respond that they were mean or bitches, but that doesn't mean you get to lie.  

From Facebook and Instagram, I remember James having one fairly long relationship after his divorce, and then jumping into newer relationships quickly. Each time she was the kindest, sweetest, and most beautiful, and then those posts would disappear, implying a breakup. 

Some people have a really had time being alone; that doesn't make them predators. Even if you move in quickly because you are housing insecure, that is not necessarily predatory. (It is also unlikely to make them happy, and many of us have friends for whom that is an issue, but that is a separate problem.)

Here's what I remember about those relationships. He hired the first one as his tour manager and she was always posting pictures of going backstage at shows, constantly taking advantage of guest passes. The one after was a tattoo artist whom he was helping book new clients, including by taking her on the road, allowing her to make appointments at places on tour. For the one after that I remember him hunting down a video game part for her child. Maybe he was broke a lot, but he seemed to be contributing in other ways.

If you wanted to date a rich rock star, you needed to do it when people still regularly paid for music (or in his case, before his divorce).

By the time of the last post to date, June 26, 2020, the focus is on him throwing away friendships and using people. They hope he gets exposed for something; they don't care what.

One important thing to point out is the things that they use against him now are all things out in the open. James has used drugs; he wrote an entire album about rehab. They mention his issues with taxes; he has mentioned that himself. Their page header links to a Noisy article that criticized his Kickstarter for No Country For Old Musicians. That article was a piece of crap that I wrote about in 2013.

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2013/11/bad-music-writing.html

Here is what they say about it (9/8/2019):

Enjoy this nice article someone kindly sent about his $$$Kickstarter asking fans for an ungodly amount of money to make a record. Pfffft, right... For a record... Click link in bio.

Having participated in a few Kickstarters, the project total was pretty reasonable, and he did make the record, but it was just about hating James, where he could not do anything right anymore.

They said they are tired of not feeling safe at shows (this was from Aug 6th, 2019, but appears to have been taken down) and want to make venues safer, but when someone mentions other unsafe musicians, "please stop mentioning people and bands that have nothing to do with this specific situation" (9/9/19).

When James tried to schedule things to make money, they replied on his page criticizing him for thinking of himself instead of the events in the world, then posted a screenshot of that, after he had announced a fundraiser, saying they could not trust him to donate (6/26/20).

They posted about someone not receiving merch that had been ordered, and scoff at people replying that they did get theirs. Yes, if you are accusing someone of sexual harassment, finding out that they fill orders promptly is not relevant. However, if in your case demonstrating that someone is a terrible person and should be unemployable and shunned, one of your strong points is that he does not fill merch orders, then that does matter. (9/8/19 "Oh geez here we go... So some of you got your merch. Good for you...")

That screenshot also criticizes him for not working through a legit label. Lots of musicians don't, and someone fired by their label might have a hard time doing it anyway, even if that were preferred.

On April 16th, 2020 there is a screenshot of a message exchange. As James admits he does not think he is being asked back to My Chemical Romance, he says "Gerard made some weird excuse" and Frank "danced around the excuse". Their response? "He talked about his friends, his brothers this way". "Weird" is not a condemnation of anyone in that band.

Here is the problem: people don't look into allegations. There were people who didn't believe right away, and they have said that they are getting some harassment from people who don't believe them. I believe that because it happens to everyone who makes accusations, and that is wrong.

But there are also people who accepted immediately and didn't even bother to understand. I saw a tweet that James was trying to do a Kickstarter for his next album and they were down on that; certainly not the worst takeaway from it all, but that was two albums ago.

That is still better than a reference to "pedo" James, when no one has said that, but because they said predator, that is what some people are taking away.

This does not help anyone. It doesn't make anyone safer.

I admit that going through their posts was and remains tedious, but the information is out there, it is faulty, and it is like it doesn't matter.

There are two things I notice this time around that I hadn't before. One, I think the key source of the anger may be found in a reference to someone's marriage breaking up (8/8/19). If I was in a stable relationship and threw that away for someone else that didn't work out, I am sure I would have some feelings. But I would still be the one who had the marital commitment. 

If James is a cheater, that will not be my favorite thing about him, but it's not something that tends to get musicians fired. 

I say "if" because while that one could be true, that there is so much other deceit makes me skeptical about everything they write, including whether it is really "they".

The other thing is that I had started feeling like all of the posts sounded like the same writer, despite an early post saying there were twelve of them. So that part about him targeting single moms and the sick and depressed (8/4/19)... okay, again his own Instagram posts, that one girlfriend would have been a single mother, and this other friend does have health problems... did someone assume all of the other former girlfriends would join in?

There is a post from June 26, 2020 where they refer to a women with James "whom we thought was one of our own. We hope she wakes up, if any woman has self worth they would stay away from this man" 

Because I also seem to remember a very warm Facebook message from James' ex-wife thanking him for his help with her dying mother during their divorce. Not all exes are bitter.

In one respect, the thing that seems the most damning is that James is no longer with MCR or TGUK. Neither band gave any details, but a post from March 26, 2020 seems to show Polyvinyl (The Get Up Kids' label) saying that they take these accusations seriously, and have no tolerance. It may have been a decision on the part of the labels. 

I have seen two bands break up because of one member being a sexual predator (Lostprophets and another that followed me on Twitter and then deleted everything right before I reviewed them). Both of them issued strong condemnations on the band member. That didn't happen here.

I also get that if someone in the band is always broke and moving around and wants to bring his girlfriend on tours but the girlfriends change, and also maybe sometimes he lets confidential information slip like that a very private member of the band has another child... maybe it is easier to just let go when one more issue comes up. 

And still, none of that makes him a predator. And if people would read things thoroughly, rather than deciding whether or not they can live without someone and simplifying matters that way, that would do much more to make venues safer and more equal.

This doesn't help anyone. It certainly doesn't get any money back to someone who doesn't feel like they got a good return on their investment. It doesn't repair a broken marriage, unless there was some weird pact where reconciliation depended on destroying the one who came between them.

If that was the case, I would think it worked. James hasn't posted on Instagram since September 21st, 2020, and his Facebook has been deleted (probably right after his father died, but I am not sure). You must be very proud.

I remain angry. It offends my sense of justice and fairness, it reinforces my frustration with ignorance, and it doesn't seem to have any higher purpose than pure spite. 

I do not know that this post will accomplish anything, but much like the school board elections, I had to do it, and I am not going to regret that.

The only thing I did not do was contact the reporter they said they were working with, marc@pitchfork.com whom they frequently asked people to send their stories too. On January 11th, 2020 they said they couldn't wait on Pitchfork anymore because they wanted to remain anonymous. I suspect there wasn't anything they could give to Pitchfork that wasn't posted; that declaring open season would bring out something incriminating, but it failed. However, I know that there is no benefit to the reporter to answering questions like that to an obscure blogger, and there could be definite liability.

Though if lawyers wanted to pursue defamation, I believe they could demonstrate material harm. 

I don't even know that's the answer, but this current result sucks.

Looking for better ways

Over the past few years I have mentioned a few times some accusations that I believed to be false that really bothered me. I didn't write more than that because it was not my story to tell. Tomorrow, I'm telling it. 

It's still not my story, but I feel like I need to do it, so that's the plan. 

There was another thing that made me reluctant to write about this. There can be some variation depending on whether we are specifically talking about rape or sexual harassment or something related, but regardless, statistically over 90% of the accusations are true. I have questioned whether it was harmful to focus on one of the exceptions. 

"Let the falsely accused take one of the the team!" doesn't sound quite right on its own, especially for someone you care about. In addition, the process that leave false accusations unanswered is the same one that ignores the true accusations. That can't be the answer.

I have spent time thinking about how we make things better. I don't necessarily have great, easily implemented solutions, but I am at least putting them out there.

One thing that seemed key is that to resolve a false allegation you could not have a Non-Disclosure Agreement. Those are a frequent hallmark of cases where women who have credible claims settle, so if nothing else it would give a wrong impression.

Here's the funny thing: I can't find it now, but I seem to remember reading criticism of Gloria Allred -- who handles many such cases -- for opposing an end to NDAs. 

Those agreements are the tool of the oppressor in one way, but if they also provide the incentive where someone with assets gives someone he harmed the tools to rebuild her life (it is almost always "her"), I can see how a lawyer would worry about that. 

Perhaps the answer to that is not so much more silence-bound settlements, but more tools for everyone. If we actually had universal health care and it included mental health parity, for example, and if there were not income inequality, but lots of options for different kinds of meaningful careers that were easily accessible... okay, then clearly we are entering the realms of fantasy, but do things really need to be so difficult?

Because under the current system, it is driven by power imbalances. That men are more likely to be able to accumulate wealth, that when they do they are more likely to be considered geniuses that often encourages tolerance of bad behavior, not only gives cover to powerful men but also motivation to less powerful men to assert power over someone. That is all part of rape culture. 

That men who would never rape and would probably never be physically violent to a woman still can't handle a woman blithely disagreeing with them, admit they have an issue and they think all of this talk and wanting to do something is overkill? That is also part of rape culture.

And, too often, those power dynamics are deeply entwined with who does get prosecuted, and who gets believed and who gets punished.

So, I suspect my real conclusion is that we need to move away from dominator culture, where we give up on a hierarchy that tells us whom we can dish it out to, and whom we have to take it from. That sounds like the realm of fantasy again, but it's one worth working for.

On the way, though, then an important step is listening to claims and checking them out. 

There is a hash tag #BelieveWomen. Some people criticized it as too much, because women can lie, but you could also argue that sometimes the issue isn't so much that the words are doubted as that they are ignored and not allowed to get in the way of what other people (men) want.

#ListenToWomen can be better, especially as a way of achieving balance in general when so much has been male-dominated for so long. But, if we are talking about harassment and assault, sometimes we will be listening to men, and to non-binary people. They also need to be free to come forward.

If we can decide that we do not want people to be abused, and listen when they say they are and work on that, and if we can put the well-being of victims above the comfort of their abusers, especially because we have decided that money or intelligence or physical strength don't give you the right to abuse... that is not currently reality, but it is a reality worth working for.

Recommended reading:

Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom, bell hooks; Routledge 1994.

The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future, Riane Eisler; HarperOne 1987.

Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators, Ronan Farrow; Little, Brown, and Company 2019.

How we fail ourselves

Writing about how the press wasn't coming through for us yesterday, I thought today would be about ways in which the readership isn't coming through. It's also us!

I mean, yes, The New York Times and The Oregonian are behind paywalls now, and that is more frustrating when you consider how often their takes are bad, and yet QAnon-themed conspiracy theory videos are free and easy to find. The more you click, the deeper the algorithm will take you.

So, that is a problem, as is the increasing profit-chasing conglomeration of news companies. However,it is also the public.

Just this morning I saw a link to piece I had heard about, by a woman who put down a dog that kept biting people, after using muzzles and trainers and identifying stressors and not finding any re-homing options.

I read the article and empathized; it sounded like a hard but reasonable decision. It appeared in my timeline because the many people slamming the author for her decision included someone I follow. 

That is an emotional issue, and I get people having strong feelings about it, but there were two problems with it. Many of the criticisms seemed to not have read the article or paid attention. There were criticisms for not trying things that she did try and for feelings that she did not have. 

Did they not read the article? Were emotions so high that they could not take in some of the information?

I don't know, but the other problem was a remark saying that all of the supportive responses were from corporate accounts or blue checks (verified Twitter accounts, usually high follower counts). That was also not true, but it was used to invalidate anything other than criticism.

Next week I am probably going to want to write about the pandemic. I remember a while back reading about the countries with the worst responses, and the thing that was fascinating is the leaders of those countries had also run very similar populist campaigns.

(I can't find the article now, but I believe it was Trump, Putin, Duterte, and Modi.)

Populism is often remembered as the little guy taking on the big guy. The starting wealth and influence of some of the key populists is often brushed aside, and certainly in these last few years, the "them" includes a lot of marginalized people. However, maybe none of that is as important as the fact that it is an ideology based on enmity. 

Maybe this is how compromise becomes a dirty word.

I am sympathetic to that; there are some things that should never be compromised on. For me, that is primarily equality, and the humanity of others. The way I get there is not by dehumanizing those who disagree with me; then I am losing what's important.

(Also, I like to think that acknowledging the humanity of others and the need for equality is a strong enough argument that it doesn't require dehumanizing.)

This is my long way of saying that maybe the reason that reading comprehension is not working out is that too many people aren't interested in it if they interpret it as the words of an enemy.

(Let me just throw in that Sanders is also very much a populist, and that we had two populists on opposite sides has exacerbated everything.)

Two books come to mind, and maybe I will just keep recommending books this week. I will list them below, but one is about conspiracy theories: how they take hold, and their appeal. That's something worth thinking about now. 

The other is about online harassment, by someone who faced a lot of it, and now helps others.

What impressed me most about Quinn was the humanity that they allowed to online abusers. It would be easy to write the abusers off as pathetic and evil, and certainly not interested in the truth. However, having created a villain in their mind, in their minds they become heroes for that harassment. A person has become a symbol of a problem, and then is eligible for abuse.

Literally dehumanization. The opposite is empathy.

I have kept Quinn's book on my desk for over a year now. Mostly that is because I keep meaning to go through and examine my own internet hygiene and vulnerability, but also because of that reminder. I keep the book there for when I am dealing with people who are being loud, obnoxious, wrong, and maybe even abusive, but that I must remember are still human.

"By dubbing them 'those people', we are also explicitly setting ourselves apart as if we aren't one of them and thus can't be part of the problem. Therein lies the most common trap we fall into when trying to make the internet a safer place: framing it as a war of good people versus bad people instead of looking at acceptable and unacceptable ways to treat each other." (pp 175-176)

As much as I actively work to be a good person, I also know it is an oversimplification.

Recommended reading:

Voodoo Histories: The Role of the Conspiracy Theory in Shaping Modern History, David Aaronovitch, Jonathan Cape, 2009.

Crash Override: How Gamergate (Nearly) Destroyed My Life, and How We Can Win the Fight Against Online Hate, Zoë Quinn, PublicAffairs, 2017.

How and why the press is failing us

Less than a month ago, we had an election where every local district seemed to have a well-organized slate of candidates running against Critical Race Theory, Comprehensive Sex Education, and distance learning to prevent the spread of COVID-19. 

As I started learning about this, I kept hoping that I would find that someone was tracking it, and making sense of it and telling people. I wanted to be able to share reporting on it. Eventually there was an article that this election was "weird", and it drew an unusually high level of cash contributions. The only contribution that drew much attention was one from Ben Edtl, but that seemed to die down once it was confirmed that he was not actually a member of the Proud Boys; he just spoke at a pro-Trump rally with a Proud Boy.

The only person I saw covering that a Trump booster was going around to different states teaching people how to win elections was me, an obscure blogger. As I talked to people via phone calls and direct messaging, it's like I was being my own reporter. 

I don't have enough of an audience for something that important, let alone the training and resources.

It is interesting writing this when the Pulitzer committee has given a special citation to Darnella Frazier for her video recording of George Floyd's death at the hands of  Derek Chauvin. The initial report filed by the police officers showed that it could easily have been swept under the rug, despite the presence of many witnesses. Because one witness had filmed proof, Chauvin was convicted, but even such strong evidence did not make the case a slam dunk.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/darnella-frazier-recognized-pulitzer-prizes-george-floyd-video/story?id=78225202

That was a traumatic experience for Frazier, and I am not sure how much good the citation will do her. In this case one cannot fault there not happening to be a reporter at the scene. However, are there other places where the press should have been? Were there patterns that should have been investigated? What is being missed that needs to be known?

In addition, how often do we see that what does get covered has misleading headlines, or false equivalencies, or other shortcomings?

There are multiple factors that have contributed to us getting here.

First of all, local coverage definitely started going downhill when layoffs at The Oregonian started in 2009, and ownership and leadership changed, looking for ways to cut corners. Not all papers managed the transition to an online world well, and businesses need to survive, but putting profits over people is not going to result in better quality.

Before that, when The Oregonian did miss stories, it was almost always on issues with the sex lives of local politicians. Local reporters and editors may have had overly cozy relationships with the politicans, though I am sure some of that was also normal power dynamics.

That may not be that different from The New York Times White House correspondent Maggie Haberman (and many of her colleagues) giving soft treatment to Donald Trump. One could argue that they did not want to risk losing their access, but so much of reporting on Trump didn't really require special access to someone who blared everything so loudly. 

Here's another thing about that: Haberman is well connected. Her father was a long-time journalist for The New York Times and her mother was in media communications and her clients included Donald Trump. There were some short cuts to her access, regardless of her individual merits. 

And, because of those relationships, she might be more naturally sympathetic to Trump.

I want to add to that knowledge the understanding of how difficult it is to break into news. Theoretically free internships have been done away with, but until internships pay a living wage for the area they are in (and New York is super expensive), it simply becomes a practical matter that aspiring journalists with family resources or supportive connections are going to have an easier time getting their foot in the door. That cements a privileged point of view in the press corps.

There is more awareness of police brutality now because it has been caught on video so frequently, but stories of it go back decades. If there were more Black reporters, could that story have been picked up sooner? Even now with proof there are still people denying it, because racism is powerful and denial is strong, but how much further along could we be if we listened to people more directly connected.

As it was, now when Asian Americans have been the target of violent attacks, Asian-American reporters are not being allowed to report, especially with the Atlanta shooting. In many cases they had languages and contacts that would have improved their access, but they were considered to be to biased

The status quo has its own bias.

One thing I really appreciated reading Audre Lorde recently is that when she talked about representation, she included not just race, gender, and sexuality, but also income level. If you are not including poor women, you don't know the obstacles they face. 

For a reporter who is white and better off financially, people who are aggressively against sex education might seem interesting as an oddity. For transgender students at the school, where a lot of the agenda is about not affirming their identity, it becomes a matter of whether or not school is a safe place to learn.

We need not just a free press, but one that serves the needs of all people, not just those in power. 

There are questions about the original source of the quote, but there is still this idea that the role of the press is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2019/02/01/comfort/

That purpose is not being filled.

I do not have an answer for that. Certainly, if you are paying for a paper that is failing in that regard -- that no matter how many people try and move forward, they just keep interviewing more Trump voters -- you can cancel that subscription, and transfer those funds to someone better. A better source can be hard to find.

If you come across something that is a concern, then maybe you should start filming, or asking questions, and try and find ways to pass that news on. Remember that for Portland local news, there are two Fox affiliates and one Sinclair affiliate. (But it used to be three Fox affiliates, so progress!)

Even if we don't have the answers yet, we need to be asking the questions.

Related reading:

The View From Flyover Country: Essays by Sarah Kendzior, Sarah Kendzior, Flatiron Books, 2018.

Culture Crash: The Killing of the Creative Class by Scott Timberg, Yale University Press, 2015.

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches, Audre Lorde, Crossing Press, 1984.

Review Retrospective: Reviews 602 - 665, 2019 and 2020

Over those last two years I only wrote 63 reviews. 

Since I had been reviewing about 100 new bands per year -- even with some duplicates -- well, you can see the decline.

There is still some pain there remembering how impossible it became to keep up with anything, and how crushing the last year or so of care giving became. Despite that, there are good memories. 

While I was still trying to keep reviewing new bands, I found some good ones. 

When I could not manage to review two new bands per week, I started combining new bands with new releases by previously reviewed bands. They put out some good stuff.

Toward the end, I was only reviewing concerts, but those were some pretty fun concerts.

Also, it was toward the end that I was managing to bring in some interviews. I want to get back to that. 

I realized at one point after giving up on reviews that I was giving more meaning to the daily songs. I think as I started losing the ability to keep putting out reviews, the ones I did meant more.

Daily songs:

“Another Girl, Another Planet” by The Only Ones -- My first time at an Oregon Zoo concert was the triple bill of Berlin, OMD, and The B-52s. All good shows, but in between sets this song I had never heard before grabbed me right from the intro. I remembered lyrics and looked it up later.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilDD5SeHxXE

“The Right Thing” by New Chums -- I did still get a few new bands in, and this was one of my favorite songs from that. There is almost a retro feel to it. Worth a listen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgIh3KGV8Ic

“Still A Beautiful World” by Chris Barron -- While each of my four interviews was important to me, that I got Chris Barron of Spin Doctors fame to answer my questions is probably the most impressive. Angels and One-Armed Jugglers fit with the times, and this song fit with me, falling apart but still finding good things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jhasVdrB8w

“Tunnel Vision” by Grumpster -- Very fun punk, but also significant in that this review happened around release because I'd had some contact with the label owner. I don't have much of a reputation, but every now and then it's nice to be vaguely recognized.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR8VuMBiuQg

“Pin the Grenade” by Blink-182 -- After reviewing Nine (which was excellent), I chose the similar sounding "Dark Side" for the song of the day, on the strength of the video. They are both good songs, but this one is my real favorite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0JlOOtB5ug

“Forever Is This Night” by Gin Blossoms -- I had not initially included video links in the retrospectives, so I had to go back and add links to the earlier ones. When I was updating the Gin Blossoms, I did not recognize this video at all, leading to two realizations. As I kept changing my selections for the daily songs, I left an extra song in the blog post without noticing. Also, the Gin Blossoms did a bunch of extremely low-budget, low-concept videos for Mixed Reality. They are still surprising me and making me smile, and that's why they are the only band with their own retrospective post to also end up in another one, thus getting this eighth song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4VMuFUKrhs

“Heroes” by David Bowie -- This is to represent the Bowie Alumni tour. There are a few videos of them online, but this is the right song for that night, and this point in my life. I don't see a video of them performing it, so here it is from the one who inspired them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLp2cW7ICCU

Band Reviews: The spreadsheet

Shortly after I started reviewing bands, I realized I needed to organize my data. 

Previously I had just kept notes on whom I needed to review in a writing document, and then deleted the names after the review. That was not a good reference system.

The new file was a spreadsheet with three tabs: reviewed bands, bands that I was going to review (which were the bands that followed me on Twitter), and as I started getting recommendations, I tracked those on a separate tab.

I felt this had potential, but I was not sure how to best fill out the columns for the reviewed bands. I started by tracking the names and whether I had seen them live, but it seemed like there should be more. I had a hard time deciding what.

In the process of working all of that out, I realized that there is a limit to how much any of them matter. However, I would like to go over the thought process.

If you want to follow along, I have uploaded the current version of the spreadsheet to my Dropbox:

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/f4mj6t7kafarmqtuyf8k1/Band-reviews.ods?dl=0&rlkey=0hfh4k9n45s7bf9skawhege5v 

The data crash forced me to start over anyway.

One thing I had done previously was that I only listed a band in the spreadsheet the first time they were reviewed; it seemed most important to track the number of bands. There were some reviews that were not of bands that I didn't include at all.

This time around, everything is there. There are two number columns, tallying the number of the review and the band. Sometimes there are indications that this review is a "Repeat", or that the review contained more than one band, or that the review is not of a band. I am still using "band" for solo musicians though.

Therefore, I now know that I have written 665 reviews, covering 654 bands. It feels more accurate to have both numbers.

I still track if I have seen them live. I did not have to go back and change any, because I started working on this after my last concert. In the future, I believe I would update that cell after seeing a band live after having previously reviewed them, but I hope I get a chance to find out soon.

You would think the "band name" would not require any deliberation, but there were a few that have since changed their names.

"Active" and "From" were columns that felt really important, but that turned out to be surprisingly arbitrary. If a band starts in one town, but then moves to another, which do you use? It is also more common for bands to be scattered in different areas and use video conferencing to get around it. Plus, I have a few bands who claim mythical locations as their homes.

Time active is even more of a guess, but it means different things to different people. Some bands can go years without doing anything but still consider themselves active. Conversely, there was one band that had three breaks, but each break lasted less than a full year; wouldn't it make more sense to just call that a long vacation?

I always felt like the Main URL would be very important, with a question about which to use, but it is much less common to have competing links now. Time simplified that one for me.

Then, I have the link to my review. That was a tricky one when each band had only one line; is the first review or the most recent the most important? Deciding to count every review simplified a lot.

Also, if there were multiple contenders for the Main URL, that review captured them all. That can be helpful for detective work, especially when some of these bands have vanished.

Finally, there is just Notes.

I thought about capturing the genre, but that is often not as simple as you would hope. I thought about different key words that might make searching easier, but I didn't really like those.

One thing I tried to capture in the old sheet was if they were signed or not, and to what label. That happened because of Pete Wentz tweeting out an interest in unsigned bands one night. A lot of bands aren't bothering with labels anymore. For one thing, compensation has gone downhill.

The biggest part was realizing that this is ultimately for me. I wanted it to be useful for other people, but who is going to pore through a spreadsheet looking for bands to fine. Really, it's for me. 

It does take off some of the pressure (not as much as you would think), but it's still nice to be able to put it out in the world.

The other two sheets are still there, for reviews that have not yet happened.

There are fewer bands that have followed me since I stopped reviewing. Following people on Twitter to gain fans was never that effective, and I think more bands have caught on. Still, there are eleven, and I will definitely listen to them. I try and keep track of their name, the date they followed, and a good link.

There is one band that I have been meaning to redo because of an error in the original review, and they have a new album out. There are also three where individuals followed me, and I did a review, but they joined other bands later, or had been in other bands earlier. 

For example, I don't remember when Scott Wilson first followed me (and I have no idea why), but I reviewed Tantric in April 2017. About two months after that, though, he left Tantric and went to Saving Abel. It's not that the Tantric review doesn't count, but it feels like I should review Saving Abel. I take being followed by musicians and bands very seriously. 

Also, some musicians have new albums out, or projects, and I take note of that.

As I have gotten fewer new band follows, the bands that I have found through friends and other musicians and books and magazines has just kept growing. Material is not a problem, only processing it.

I think I'd like to review a 1000 bands before I retire, but we'll see how it goes.

For now, there are two more Review Retrospectives waiting, and then I think I want to try reviewing new bands again. 

I can't guarantee quantity or consistency, and I know I lost a lot of readers during my down period, but having new reviews will be a good thing to get back.

APAHM 2021: The weight

As much as I enjoyed and learned from Slanted, it was not all fun and games. There is a lot to make you angry, and a lot to make you sad.

Because the author is Simon Tam, there are also casual nerd references to enjoy, especially with how naturally they are included. There is a lot of heart and much that is admirable, but that is combined with a lot of exhaustion on Tam's part. It is only human to feel for him.

The court case took nine years. Even with various lawyers working pro bono, there were still filing and copying charges, travel, requests for interviews, and some very abusive language, even from natural allies. 

That was all combined with personal loss, and needing to make a living and maintain relationships. It was a Herculean effort, and it was ultimately successful, but not without great personal cost. That is not even mentioning all of the good things that the band was trying to do, with work shops and fundraising and drives and fighting bullying. They did do good, perhaps in ways in which they were uniquely able to do so, but it is important to understand the effort.

With a full book covering the nine year battle, I know more about their struggle, but I had also started to think about that when watching The Problem With Apu. You see the disappointment as Hari Kondabolu's attempts to meet with Hank Azaria failed. We see the effort that he puts in educating, and yet during any comedy set there can always be someone who will just say "Thank you. Please come again," and feel like they are so clever. 

Once again, my reading and watching related to the news, with the reactions to Naomi Osaka choosing her mental health over money. Federer protecting his knee has not drawn nearly the same level of complaint. That is not a coincidence.

This is older news, from 2017, but someone posted Anna Muzychuk refusing to play in Saudi Arabia as a protest against their treatment of women, even though it would mean the loss of two world titles, so a loss of status and money.

That was the Women's World Speed Chess Championship. Every single competitor would be forced to be accompanied, and covered up, and bear the weight of that country's misogyny for the entire time there. Who scheduled that in the first place? Shouldn't there have been other people protesting? Shouldn't there have been people in leadership positions (probably men) saying that this is not acceptable?

There are people who are burning themselves out to try and stand up for what is right; that burden should be shared by many more people. If enough participated, it might stop feeling like a burden.

Notice that these people mentioned are fighting racism and sexism that they experience. In doing so, they have to fight against the inertia and complacence of those not affected. 

I can't help but notice that the best articles on Naomi Osaka's withdrawal from the French Open have been primarily written by women, plus one man of Asian descent.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2021/may/31/were-not-the-good-guys-osaka-shows-up-problems-of-press-conferences?

White people, where are we? Are you tired of hearing about racism? Try living it!

This is currently something I am addressing more on the Sunday blog, looking at areas and methods for fighting white supremacy, but before narrowing down, there has to be the initial commitment.

Can you care about an injustice that will not be leveled against you? And then what are you going to do about it?

APAHM Synergy: When the news and the reading correspond

Speaking of Executive Order 9066, I recently finished another book about the law not being applied equally: Slanted: How an Asian American Troublemaker Took on the Supreme Court by Simon Tam. 

 

(I recommend this book.)

In the process of going over their court case, others are referenced, including some that argued against internment. The legal cases weren't really what stuck with me, but for more information on those specific cases, a good starting point can be https://www.thoughtco.com/supreme-court-cases-involving-japanese-internment-2834827.

I mentioned some convergence yesterday. I was reading about the loss of Japanese property as a windfall for other people in the cities. At the same time I was being reminded of the financial losses that accompanied the deaths with the Tulsa race massacre. It worked together as a reminder of how racism serves capitalism.

There was some other convergence on the topic of language. 

Fictionally, in Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, Henry's parents forbid him to speak Chinese anymore, demanding that he only speak English. As they do not speak English, this has a negative impact on family communication, but shows the pressure that was felt to clearly not be Japanese, despite that in no way leading to being accepted as American in 1941 Seattle.

In real life, Simon Tam was nearly put into ESL and advised not to speak any Chinese languages as a child lest it give him an accent. Tam was born in San Diego in 1981. 

 

Forty years after Pearl Harbor, we were still racist. 

 

Forty years after that, we have a better understanding of how valuable it is to be at least bilingual if not multilingual, and how starting early helps. Some parents pay heavily for immersion programs. 

 

Somehow, we are still racist.

Of course, at the same time that I was reading these books, news was breaking of mass graves being found at a residential school in Kamloops. Residential schools were also places where children were forbidden to speak their family languages, and severely punished. That wasn't the only abuse that happened at the schools, but the pure superiority and despising of all that was native was never going to discourage abuse.

It's genocide. Even when there were not deliberate deaths, trying to destroy a group and their identity is genocide. Destroying family ties plays a role. 

And -- even when your means of destroying a group is intended to be more the identity and community and language -- physical deaths happen. Not being premeditated murder doesn't always mean it was an accident.

I'm just going to leave this here:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/09/native-american-heritage-month-2018_17.html

APAHM Comics, but especially They Called Us Enemy

I could have easily done a post on comics last week. I did read some looking for Asian-American authors, though I got two Asian-Canadian and one Japanese author mixed in. There is one I am thinking about more, and it is going to lead somewhere.

I will still name the comics:

Nijigahara Holograph by Inio Asano

This One Summer by cousins Jillian Tamaki and Mariko Tamaki

Supernova (Amulet 8) by Kazu Kibuishi

They Called Us Enemy by George Takei with co-writers Justin Eisinger and Steven Scott and art by Harmony Becker

That is in reverse order from how I read them, because Takei's work is the one that has stuck with me most, over a year after reading it, and is the one that relates most to additional reading.

I am not going to spend a lot of time on the others. I do think that it is perfect that This One Summer, with its youth and secrets and summer vacation, was written by cousins. The futility in Nijigahara Holograph sticks with me as well, though it seems like there should be a way through. 

Of course, if you are not already, you can always become my friend on Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/gmharris 

 

I review lots of books, pretty regularly.

 

On to They Called Us Enemy. 

I know one reason I am thinking about it more now is because I just read Jamie Ford's Hotel On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet.

While the book focuses on a Chinese boy, his best friend is a Japanese girl who is interned with her family. We see some of that.

There are things that you know on one level; I have known that the internment happened for some time. Stories bring facts to life, and multiple stories drive them deeper.

Somewhere in the reading, I realized that while most large cities have a Chinatown, there used to be Japantowns too, at least on the West Cost. Then the people living in them were taken away, providing great financial opportunities for those left behind.

Maybe I was thinking of it more because of a flurry of attention to the Tulsa Massacre, and how roads were constructed and new things built in a way to hide the evidence, but also to transfer wealth from the marginalized to those who marginalized them.

This year was the first year that I saw that Executive Order 9066 could be applied to those of German and Italian descent too. Occasionally it was, but no, that law was not applied equally.

 

I am going to need to watch Allegiance, and that will happen, but for now the image that stays with me from Takei's book is his father slipping out of an office they are both working at because Eleanor Roosevelt is going to stop by. Even though it is meant to be an honor, and George himself is excited, his father cannot shake the hand of the woman whose husband sent him to that camp.

 

There are people who are still alive who were in those camps, though they are old now. The process for admitting it was wrong did not happen until Carter, with formal acknowledgement under Reagan. That's in my lifetime.

Is the past even past?

Review Retrospective: Not reviewed, but seen

As I get closer to completion, there has been this nagging feeling about some omissions.

Technically, if we are just going over reviews, then it is not an omission because I have never reviewed any of these bands. I have mentioned some of them, possibly often.

However, if we look at some of the other posts -- including the one on emo bands that I just wrapped up -- several of the posts have involved songs or bands that have not been reviewed but have been an influence. 

Most of these bands have been very important to me; it feels wrong to leave them out.

And I have seen them all in concert!

"Take On Me" by A-ha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914

They were my second concert, because Charlie made it to Portland earlier, but they were the first band I truly loved. Technically, we have tickets to see them again. The show keeps getting delayed, but it's going to happen.

"In Deep" by Charlie Sexton
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJNHhB2_R4s

I still loved Charlie a great deal. The sounds are totally different, with A-ha so synth-centric and Sexton so focused on guitar, but they both work for me. 

I chose this song because this is one of the albums that I picked up when working at K-Mart, and I bought it solely because of his song. (Though the record is pretty decent overall, like most 80s soundtracks.)

"That Was Then, This Is Now" by The Monkees
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T7NuBTmQ7g

While they were not quite as emotionally important to me, I did watch the show. I was excited to get a chance to see them, then possibly a little disappointed at the weathering. Ultimately I am grateful that I went, and this is still a pretty good song.

“To Be A Lover” by Billy Idol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L9epO3tJT4

This was my fourth concert. I saw him when he was touring supporting Charmed Life, but this song is from Whiplash Smile. Charmed Life was when his legs were shattered and he wasn't working with Steve Stevens anymore, plus losing Perri Lister (because of his cheating)... it is not as fun an album, though it was still a fun concert.

This also means that I have never seen Steve Stevens live.

"Love And Affection" by Nelson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1W6-ErrHls

They went country after, and at least one got kind of douchey, but I still really like this album. Getting to this concert was significant because I had to find a ride up from Eugene and I was supposed to meet someone, but we still relied on pay phones at the time (the horror!). Ultimately, I did make it, but I also had an unused ticket. Still a good memory.

This was my fifth concert if we don't count the one where I lost my tickets, was frustrated, and snuck backstage, but couldn't hear anything and didn't see anyone except some dancers. The wouldn't count, right? 

Somewhere between that first five concerts and starting to write reviews, I did start making it to concerts more often. I stopped counting by this point, but there are still two that are not reviewed but very important.

"Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9gKyRmic20

Especially Neil, but both Finn brothers have meant a lot to my musical tastes. I loved Split Enz early, even watching their televised concert that was aired on Nickelodeon a few times. Then, they broke up, but here came Crowded House (which Tim did join, but later, and I associate them more with Neil). I have seen Crowded House (after Paul's death, but with Nick back), and I have seen Finn Brothers, but not in that order. I just don't know that they could do anything that I wouldn't like. 

So it really never is over.

"Basket Case" by Green Day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUTGr5t3MoY

Somewhere in a story that I have thought out but not written, there is a girl who gets struck by this song like a bolt of lightning.

I have only seen them once, and I still wish I'd understood better what was going on with the puppets. I know the review in the paper criticized it for being just like their last show. Maybe, but it was new to me. I didn't hear the audience complaining. 

So many music reviewers suck, especially in how they can't comprehend any taste that varies from their own, but I was mean that night too.

On the train heading home we were talking about the concert. This woman (whom I thought of as old, but I am probably now her age) cut in to talk about her love of Andre Rieu, whom I guess she also thought was cool because he had long hair. I listened less and less patiently as she kept going on. She was not taking in this conversation, only giving. When she got to Bob Dylan I think I said something about how horrible a singer he was. I don't like him, so there are a lot of things I could have said.

She countered "But he was the voice of a generation!"

"Not mine."

And that successfully ended the conversation. 

I would totally do that again. 

I would probably not sneak backstage again. However, wandering around, talking to stage crew and arena staff -- and for the first two, bus drivers -- yes, always and forever.

APAHM 2021: The Documentaries

One nice thing about writing about the movies is that they really were watched in May 2021; I did observe the month in the intended time frame.

Which is probably the only reason I was able to find the first movie.

I have been wanting to see The Problem with Apu since it came out in 2017. It was not easy to find, even searching on different streaming services. (I may have been looking at the wrong ones.)

This year I was determined to make it happen. I went to the IMDB page to check distribution, thinking that I was going to have to buy or rent a copy. It showed that it was scheduled to air on TruTV. Record!

I don't know if anything changed with distribution, but I suspect the month where we think about Asian-Americans might be getting more attention as we see increasing violence against them. That seems like a reasonable response, I guess, though it is hard to feel good about that as a reason. 

I was nonetheless very happy to find this movie so easily.

The documentary is valuable. It is very much Hari Kondabolu's personal journey and feelings. We get to hear from many other people. This shows us the extent to which the caricature of Apu is used to mock people who are either Indian or perceived to be Indian. It is more than I would have thought, which was probably (and depressingly) naive.

I think there could have been room for more critical analysis, but even though that is a thing I like, that might have made other people consider it boring. Listening to people who are actually affected by specific flavor of racism and letting them have a voice may be more valuable, and more to the point.

The other movie was Who Is Arthur Chu?, also from 2017, but only discovered recently. I don't remember how it came up. (I streamed the film through our library's Kanopy connection, so it may have been while searching for something else there.)

My love for Jeopardy! is well-established. I remember and did not like Arthur Chu then. Yes, I did find the category jumping annoying, but what really bugged me was the $5 wager on the daily double. At least do $100! It was too obvious that he was not a fan of Jeopardy!, and that bothered me.

(I understand that this could be perceived as jealousy, though I do not feel that it is.)

Anyway, I didn't like him then, but a little after I would start seeing thoughtful and good tweets from him, including some well-written essays on important topics. I started to like him then, as a writer and Tweeter.

There were some things that felt very familiar in the movie -- some from my own life, and some from other family dynamics through books or friends -- but the part that stuck me most was between Arthur and his wife at the time, Eliza. It was this question for both of them, individually, about what to do. 

For Arthur, it was more about how to do some good now that he had a platform; what were good ways to use that? For Eliza, someone creative who had a day job but also was dealing with a chronic illness, how do you balance that? For both of them, there was the question of sticking with the day job, or pursuing new things; could they afford to? Could they succeed without leaving?

These are very familiar questions. I don't have my answers yet, but many of my questions come back to what good can I do, and how much good different paths will allow.

That makes me want to circle back to Kondabolu. That there was a documentary made about him is because in his comedy he was addressing the damage that the character of Apu does. That happened after trying to use the racism against himself and his parents for laughs, and finding that he could not feel right about that.

Good on him for that; a lot of comics never get there. 

It is worse if the laughs come from making fun of people they don't care about. Ir is sad when a lot of comics don't seem to have any self-regard (sometimes also somewhat understandable), but it is infuriating that there are still people who build their acts on bigotry. It is infuriating that they still have an audience.

We need to be demanding better. I do see some movement in that direction, but there is a long way to go.

Yes, part of that is not continuing to reward people for racist humor and entertainment based on stereotypes, much of which is pretty tired and not nearly as clever as they think. 

It is also making a point of listening to voices that aren't always white and male and straight. I should watch more specials from Asian American comedians. There are more available on Netflix than you might think. Give a new author a try, or a new band. If you like something, recommend it.

Yes, we can question Hank Azaria and Matt Groening about Apu, but it hasn't done much good. That doesn't mean that the questions shouldn't be asked, but the uplifting of other voices may ultimately be more helpful.

And then sometimes it's also touching, or funny, or really makes you think. I love the windows that books and movies and music have opened to me. 

There is so much out there, waiting for us.

Ruined for Rom-Coms: APAHM 2021

This title uses the abbreviation for Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month, which may be a little more elegant than some of the others. 

Realistically, I understand that some of my dissatisfaction with the titles is social conditioning where talking about race feels rude. I acknowledge this discomfort and affirm that it is worthwhile.

I avoided Netflix for a long time; the last thing that I need is another monthly expense. As I was setting some viewing and listening priorities (along with the reading), I was frustrated that so much content is now part of paid streaming services. 

I am still holding out on Tidal, ESPN+ and Disney+, but I gave in on Netflix specifically for Hannah Gadsby: Nanette, When They See Us, and (most relevant to today's post) Always Be My Maybe.

Those were the primary reasons I gave in, but then there were lots of other things that I could and did want to watch. I've gone past the free trial, okay? The then question became what to watch, in what order. It totally made sense to watch Always Be My Maybe in May, along with To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

It appears that I can no longer view romantic comedies without being distracted by the main characters' trauma. And the supporting characters' trauma. 

I initially blamed it on all the trauma reading that I have done recently. I am more aware of signs and effects and it's not like turning my brain off is my best skill.

To be fair, I have kind of hated a lot of romantic comedies, as least in concept. The last one I really loved was While You Were Sleeping, from 1995.

Around the time that Julia Roberts was the queen of the genre, I remember reading an article pointing out that a lot of the class barriers and sexual mores that used to drive the genre were no longer in place. Because of that, the films often made the romantic obstacle that the characters were just jerks to each other. That can be hard to get behind.

(And some of them would have only taken a little more effort to fix, fyi.)

These two films were both cute and funny. The characters are generally sympathetic. I kept wanting to yell at the screen:

Can't you see how this is affecting him? Shouldn't somebody mention that?

There were dead mothers in both, plus other parental issues, so my tether might be a little shorter there. 

Then, as things get resolved, my brain is reminding me of what things are still going to come up without being directly addressed. I like to think that they have the commitment and the resources to work it out, but it's there.

Another movie I watched via Netflix was The Lovebirds, with Kumail Nanjiani and Issa Rae. I did better with that one. It was probably not technically a romantic comedy though. 

It started with the end of a really good date where there is an adorable resistance to parting. Then it fast forwards to where the relationship appears to be on the rocks, with heads constantly butting and poor communication. Absurd coincidences and bad luck (and realistically some poor decisions) give them a chance to realign and improve. 

Plus, there were no obvious parental issues. 

That can only help.

Displacement, children's books, and authors of Asian descent

I didn't read many children's books this time around, but I had thoughts about them because of possibly silly reasons.

One book was The Name Jar by Yangook Choi. 

Recently arrived from Korea, Unhei is going to pick an American name. Her new classmates put name suggestions into a jar while Unhei thinks more about names and learns more about her new neighborhood and class.

By coincidence, the last time around one of the books read was Juna's Jar, written by Jane Bahk and illustrated by Felicia Hoshino.

In this case, the jar holds many different things that Juna finds during the day and then shape her dreams at night. A move is the source of the conflict again, but in this case it is that Juna's friend Hector has moved away. Her loneliness is combined with worry about him, and the story follows her path to acceptance and being ready to make new friends.

At the time, I noticed it more because my kindergarten teacher sister had also brought home Jane Clark's Gilbert the Great, about a young shark mourning the departure of his best friend, a remora named Raymond. 

It can be hard being the one left behind; books that deal with that are important, even with different levels of realism and seriousness.

As it happens, the other book I read relatively recently also kind of dealt with that:

Fauja Singh Keeps Going: The True Story of the Oldest Person Ever to Run a Marathon, by Simrat Jeet Singh and illustrated by Baljinder Kaur.

Fauja Singh's story is about more than moving. He is unable to walk when young, and it affects his chances for schooling. Whatever he lacks in other ways he makes up for in sheer determination, eventually not just walking but running, and building a good life for himself and his family. 

Then, his children leave him behind; not losing contact, but not being near. When his wife dies, he goes to live with one child's family, leaving not just his home and village behind, but also his country and language. Running becomes a way of connecting, to people around him, and to the world beyond that.

It is a wonderful story, and possibly better for adults. With the others, I was thinking about loss and connection. I was reminded that there was another book about displacement in that first round of children's books, A Different Pond, written by Bao Phi and illustrated by Thi Bui. As a father and son fish at one pond in Minneapolis, the father talks about a different pond in Vietnam.

Displacement comes up often in the books for grown-ups too, but in these short and simple tales there is a lot of heart. They may be comforting for those grieving separations, young or old.

I should mention that I also -- in my Caldecott Medal reading -- read Lon Po Po: A Red-Riding Hood Story from China by Ed Young. 

It is actually more like the story of the Wolf and the Kids than that of Red-Riding Hood, but red is a key color in the illustrations, and it works.

Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Reading Update

That just rolls off of the tongue, doesn't it?

I have previously only done one specific Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage month. I questioned how well I was doing it at the time, though it did mainly stick to the one month.

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2018/06/asian-pacific-american-heritage-month.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2018/06/apahm-2018-reading-and-asian-pacific.html 

Then, things fell apart more, but I did take notes when I read other things that I meant to get to.

This year, with increased violence against Asian Americans, it felt more important to practice and celebrate, but also, I am so behind where I want to be.

I have notes on books that I read in 2019 and 2020, and now even some that I have read in 2021. I am also not going to stop reading off of my list after this week of blogging. 

This week is just going to be about different things that have struck me, even as I read at least two relevant books this week that will probably not make it into this round of writing.

For the record, today I started one of 43 books left to read after having finished two others. I have at least three movies and a play I want to watch, after having finished four movies quite recently. 

My intention is that I will have completed all of those before next May. Then I will just dive into books by Margaret Dilloway and Gail Tsukiyama. Maybe binge the Fresh Off Boat television series, though maybe only the first three seasons? That would require some research.

Regardless, for all of the ways that I overextend myself and get too ambitious, that does feel achievable. The question then becomes whether I write about all of those at once. One of them is a physics book, and one is on permaculture. It's not always simple, but I always admit that.

I don't know quite how it will go. I do form little subsections. For example, some of the books seem to focus on the difficulty of relationships with your parents, and I will probably try reading those around the same time. They may inspire their own thoughts. 

Doing this has been an ongoing process. When I started with my first Black History month, it could easily have just been four books a month, one month a year. It wasn't, because I started realizing how much more there is to know and understand. Some of that is me being me, but I think many people could find similar effects.

That is one reason why I am now going through and looking at my old posts and coming up with a better list of recommendations. If you want a basic timeline of the history of slavery and its results, what books are good for that? What books are good for building empathy on a specific topic? That is a project that is still taking shape.

For now I will mention a few books that were not really a part of intended reading, but came up in other ways, reminding us of the messiness.

The Moral Economy of the Peasant: Rebellion and Subsistence in Southeast Asia by James C. Scott, finished July 9th, 2020.

I picked this up in the PSU bookstore many years ago, when I would just sometimes stop by and look around (between 1994 and 1996). I picked up too many books on impulse to read them all, but when I was doing some other economics reading I threw it in. It was in fact really interesting, with thoughtful comparisons made and good research data. For the record, economics is not always interesting.

Know My Name by Chanel Miller, finished August 15th, 2020.

Like many people I was touched by Jane Doe's letter to her rapist, Brock Turner. I am sure I would have read her book anyway. As it was, I read it in the middle of some feminist reading, specifically about rape culture, where it fit well. This is a good, human, and important book.

The Rainbow People written by Lawrence Yep, finished May 4th, 2021.

Perfect timing for this year's reading, but it happened because as I near the end of my Caldecott Medalist perusal, I was reminded of my love for David Wiesner's Tuesday. I decided to just check out whatever the library had that he had illustrated. That included this book of tales told by Chinese immigrants in the late 19th century. Serendipity.

And, for the most questionable one...

Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking by Samin Nosrat and illustrated by Wendy McNaughton. 

I finished the book on October 1st, 2017, and did not think of it as relevant reading. I signed up for Netflix to watch (among other things) Always Be My Maybe. Seeing there was a series for the book, I wanted to watch it, but also wondered if it would relate.

Nosrat was born in the United States, but her parents come from Iran. That is the Middle East. Does that go with the Far East? Afghanistan used to be considered to belong more with India and Pakistan.

Arab American Heritage Month is sometimes celebrated in April (I just learned that), but Persians are not Arabs. Sometimes Persians get March, but March is Women's History already. 

I could argue that that there is a need for a lot more understanding of all of the peoples and the history between them in the Middle East. 

It gets tricky. I know that, and I will keep working at it.

Sometimes it is amazing how much it takes.

Review Retrospective: Emo or Not Emo?

I am not even going to look up any of the old posts; I have written so much about emo and trying to understand emo.

For a brief recap, when I started listening to My Chemical Romance (first Review Retrospective!), there were constantly arguments in comments about whether or not they were "emo" and what emo actually means. I did not have a frame of reference.

I was excited to find a book about it: Andy Greenwald's Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo. I should not have been excited; the book misses a lot. I first finished it on December 23rd, 2012, and I still didn't have any confidence in the topic.

The book was still the key to my figuring it out. I eventually read the book again and listened to at least some music from every band mentioned in it, even when they were bands that were clearly not emo (like Pantera). Then, for the bands that I found more interesting, I listened to their entire discography.

I set myself up for failure by deciding to listen to all of Mogwai. One eerie instrumental song can be great, but a bunch in a row gets on my nerves. Even so, I should watch Before the Flood, an environmental documentary that features their music.

I have watched at least three movies because of this book. Speaking of that, Greenwald completely missed the point of Rich Egan's getting into the business because Greenwald did not know what was in Another State of Mind, which inspired Egan. I'm not saying Greenwald needed to watch the movie, but he should have asked more questions.

I found a lot of music I liked, but a lot of it was not emo. Of the bands chosen for the daily songs, the greater half are more traditionally punk, though emo springs from punk.

You see, punk -- which I love and has its own Review Retrospective -- tends to be political. Emotional Hardcore took some of that energy and applied it to personal issues. Then, other bands took that focus on self-reflection and slowed it down (possibly with more whining, but not every time). 

One of the big disagreements with emo is for people who think that word should be used for the hardcore versus slower, softer stuff. Then, later, when some bands who sang about sad feelings also wore a lot of black leather and heavy eyeliner, that got called "emo", but often as an insult. The other disagreements come from that.

The only real exploration of the disagreements I recall in the book is a reference to Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional (who is totally emo) not being comfortable with the term.

After having listened to hours and hours of music, there is a sound that I consider to be "emo", or perhaps two sounds. It is not the first wave of emotional hardcore, like Rites of Spring. You could easily just hear that as hardcore, and it is not infrequent for hardcore to have emotional elements.

It comes a little closer with the next round of Jets to Brazil and Sunny Day Real Estate, so totally bummed out music. When I hear The Promise Ring, yes, I know that is emo. However, when I am thinking emo the most representative band is probably The Starting Line. That is moving in a direction toward pop punk, but still feels more like emo than punk.

And in general, they dress more like Richie Cunningham than Edward Scissorhands. (Except with more tattoos.)

There is a strong element of DIY (Do It Yourself) in the punk ethos that does relate to the fashions, in that shopping at thrift stores was common. So, while "Buddy Holly" is not their most emo song, it makes sense that Weezer would have a video referencing Happy Days.

I'm not sure why the other look started getting the emo label, but there is always overlap. Fall Out Boy's music is not very emo, but their lyrics certainly were, at least for their early albums.

I realize this may not establish clearly in your mind what emo is. Part of the problem -- and I did realize this early -- is that a lot of the more prototypical bands are not well-known. That's why I did so much listening. What that accomplished for me is that when other people use the word -- even if they are not all using it the same way -- I can understand where they're coming from. (Even if they're wrong.)

It is not exactly rare for people to dispute genre classifications anyway; it happens more with this particular one. I am into knowledge and communication (and music), so understanding a word means something to me.

Other things came from the project. Because Rye Coalition (not emo) was the next band mentioned in the book after Mogwai (also not emo), and both Mogwai and Rye Coalition have werewolf songs, I became more aware of Halloween music possibilities. I have had some fun with that, but I am not done.

Nor am I done listening to bands. I still want to do full reviews of several bands from the book: Jawbox (kind of emo), FenixTX (kind of emo), Superdrag (not emo), Social Distortion (not emo), Face to Face (not emo), SamIam (emo), Allister (emo), The Rocking Horse Winner (emo), Something Corporate (emo), Frail (not the emo one, though that exists), and Finch (kind of emo).

At some point, I will really need to go through and listen to Say Anything, The Starting Line, and Saves The Day together, just to make sure I have them all straight. I don't think I do yet, but I finally have Jawbreaker and Jawbox sorted out.

Working on it.

Daily Songs:

“See If I Care” by Face to Face -- They are considered punk. I like the attitude of this song, though there is an emotion below it that belies the lyrics. I get that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXx3uRg8kIs

“On a Rope” by Rocket From the Crypt -- Once more, very punk. Irresistible rhythm on this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YQoK7Ff334

“Brandenburg Gate” by Anti-Flag -- Not emo, very punk. This song completely won me over at the time. It has faded for me a little as I realized that I respect the band more than I enjoy them, which is not the same thing. Still a pretty good song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWE4VXGMeIk

“What It Is To Burn” by Finch -- Less emo than some, but not completely unreasonable to call emo. Still, you can't help but notice more hardcore elements in this song of torment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLbHfOhJNR4

“Shoulder To The Wheel” by Saves The Day -- Yeah, they're pretty emo. In that genre, one of my favorites songs with a great energy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5eOwgzJmV0

“Shut Up” by Simple Plan -- Can reasonably be called emo. This didn't even come up from the book, but was suggested because of the other things I was listening to. I'm glad it was.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpds3V90VbM

“Still Alive” by Social Distortion -- Social Distortion is pretty solidly punk, but this song is nonetheless very personal. There is hope and vulnerability and I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDcI8oKKWlM

Reading about education

My aversion to bigotry and fascism was reason enough for me to have been appalled by and focused on the school board elections.

Looking back, though, I can see where my earlier education-themed reading may have played a part.

It started with reading about residential schools, and also some references to decolonizing education and academia, but also with really responding to bell hooks.

There ended up being seven books:

A Third University is Possible by La Paperson

Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom by bell hooks

Teaching Community: A Pedagogy of Hope by bell hooks

The Book Whisperer: Awakening the Inner Reader in Every Child by Donalyn Miller

Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paolo Freire 

Ghosts in the Schoolyard: Racism and Schools Closing on Chicago's South Side by Eve Ewing

(And then also I read two comics collections and a book of poetry from Eve Ewing and five children's books from bell hooks but those were not specifically related to education.)

Things don't always work out the way you think.

Let me just mention that La Paperson is an occasional pseudonym for UC San Diego's Wayne Yang, who was an editor on a book on decolonizing education that I read as a part of my Native American Heritage Month reading. The title was mentioned in one of the sections, and I found it intriguing.

I expected that it would be about distance learning, especially in response to residential schools. That seemed logical based on the material that referenced it, but it was not. It did still have information about rethinking education. 

In retrospect, the timing is also interesting. I finished the first three before the pandemic started, but only just before. Then, as I was reading more, education had been turned on its head. Now I reflect back on it after widespread attempts to move schools back to more racist and sexist and fascist.

It has been good to know that more is possible, and discouraging to see how determined some are to limit and crush.

Ewing's work was especially chilling, as so many of Chicago's school closures end up erasing history and diversity, trying to revert to a pre-Civil Rights Movement status quo. That is shown even in the names of the schools that get chosen for closure, and the names that go on the new schools.

Yes, we have people with that same goal right here. They are organized.

Then, with Miller's work, it is disturbing to see how many programs work to actually discourage learning and reading and intellectual development. I can't swear that's the goal, but it's alarming.

Fortunately, it was all balanced with hope. Regarding the ability of other people to learn and change -- even later in life -- Teaching to Transgress and Pedagogy of the Oppressed were probably the best. For those who seek to make things better, there was a lesson in A Third University is Possible as well.

When we break and repair systems, the new systems will also have flaws; we will not get everything right. So you address that, and you find new flaws.

As much as we keep getting wrong, we just need to keep trying. 

It does make sense to clarify goals. Some goals are incompatible, and some people with those goals will strenuously avoid admitting that.

Regardless, for all that has gone wrong and been wrong, I still believe in the chance to do better.

Accidentally, again, Black History Month

When I decided to focus on Black directors for 2019, it took a lot longer than I had planned, stretching well into 2020.

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/11/black-history-month-2019-black-directors.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/02/black-history-month-2019-overview-black.html

That was a great project, and I am fine with it going over. I did read some things at the same time, and I actually wrote an update about it in February of 2020, as well as some other events:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/02/black-history-month-random-readings.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/02/black-history-month-2019-and-2020.html 

It felt like I wasn't really getting anywhere on books relevant to Black history that I intended to read, but as I started tracking works by Black authors and read by me, I realized there was more than I had thought

It mostly came out in ways I could not have predicted.

For example, I did a brief reading list related to education that it looks like I never blogged about. Given the times when I read the books, and how much farther apart than intended they ended up being, that makes sense. However, that involved reading from Eve Ewing and bell hooks.

With bell hooks, I specifically wanted to read two that mentioned teaching, but then I looked to see what else she has written, and saw a handful of children's books. I won't rule out some day reading everything by bell hooks, because her work inspires me. Without having the time for that then, I could still read the children's books.

Then, there wasn't just the one book by Eve Ewing, but also I'd read something about her writing for Marvel, so again, let's just see what all is out there, and there was poetry, as well as comics. I can read all those!

(Though two of the comics compilations are still on hold with the library, after a really long time. Still, The Crow finally came, so I am sure they will too.) 

It was reading about issues of fatness that led me to read Fearing the Black Body by Sabina Strings and Thick by Tressie Cottam McMillan.

It appears that my reading has become fairly integrated. When I am looking into any topic, I am aware of Black authors who have written on the topic. I like that.

I also still have enough that I still want to read and target that I am not ready to give up the months. Clearly they have become more than months, but that's okay.

It is questionable how much since it makes to go over a year's worth of reading as if it is for one month, but that may look different given the amount of time where I could not blog.

For now, tomorrow I want to go over that educational reading.

In June, for Black Music Month, I will request I Tina, The Beautiful Ones, and Le Freak from the library. These are technically from my music biography list, not my Black History list, but it works. 

Because of availability, I will also read A Promised Land and watch Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. I should try and watch One Night In Miami.

I will do an update after that. 

Then, I plan to focus on other lists, but pull in at least one book from the Black History list every month. 

Ideally, I will get caught up on the other lists by February 2022, and then I can really focus on that very long list. 

Things never go as planned, but sometimes the surprises and corrections are pretty good.

So I go on. 

Related post:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2017/12/an-accidental-black-history-month.html

Native American Heritage Month 2019 and 2020

Here is another one where it is totally possible that I will do a great job with the 2021 reading, because it hasn't happened yet, and sometimes I have optimism that borders on delusions of grandeur.

As it was, the relevant books were read between October 11th, 2019 and December 16th, 2020. I was reading around the correct times. I probably could have done reasonable write-ups for at least 2019, but I was not blogging a lot at the end of 2020. It was probably more that the reading felt incomplete.

This is also an area where the lack of inter-library loan has greater impact; the amount of books on Native American history or issues that I want to read and that are specifically in the Washington County library system has less overlap. They are better for some of my other areas. But again, a lot of the books I end up wanting to read are Canadian. Canada has very similar colonization issues, but the books published by their university presses are less likely to end up on library shelves in the United States.

In this case, there are about 26 books that I will need to request through inter-library loan. However, I have gotten my second ILL book since the library reopening, and things look possible again. If I wait until November, will I be able to get them all requested and read that month? For sure no, especially as only five can be requested at a time. 

However, I don't have to read them all in one month. I will sort that out. 

I should note that I also have six URLs to check out for more books and authors to consider, but that will represent a transition to focusing more on contemporary works, and not just the history. It is part of the plane, but that is for 2022.

So, here are the books that did get read.

Children's books:

Young Water Protectors by Aslan Tudor, Fry Bread: A Native American Story by Kevin Noble Maillard, Birdsong by Julie Flett, When We Are Kind by Monique Gray Smith but illustrated by Nicole Neidhardt, When I Was Eight by Christy Jordan-Fenton and Margaret Pokiak-Fenton and illustrated by Gabrielle Grimard.

Great pictures in Fry Bread that cast a wide and inclusive net. Aslan Tudor has been a young water protector, so that could be very empowering for some older kids, to know that they can participate and tell their own story. You may remember the Fentons, a mother/daughter-in-law team, from Margaret's stories of her time in residential school. I had missed one of the books previously. Kindness is a more obvious theme in When We Are Kind, but also an important part of Birdsong.

Young Adult:

I Can Make This Promise by Christine Day and Bear Walker by Joseph Bruchac.

I ended up really enjoying both of these. There were issues of friendship and family, with some heartache but plenty of happiness and connection and growth. It occurs to me that for adults who want to read more diverse novels but are not sure where to start, YA books can be a great point of entry.

Comic books:

Anthology One by Native Realities, This Place: 150 Years Retold by multiple authors, and Marvel Voices: Indigenous Voices #1 by Jeffrey Veregge and others. 

This Place was the award winner and deserved it. Not only were the individual segments good but they were tied together well. At the same time, most of those seem unlikely to be parts of continuing stories, which is not the case for the other two. Currently I am most interested in seeing more on Dani Moonstar and Jonesy.

Adult Fiction:

House Made of Dawn by N. Scott Momaday.

The funny thing about this is that I really meant to read Medicine River this time around, but I got the titles mixed up. I would have read it sooner or later anyway. It is definitely more poetic, but also harder to be sure of how anything will turn out.

Non-fiction:

An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States by Roxane Dunbar-Ortiz and You're So Fat: Exploring Ojibwe Discourse by Roger Spielmann.

You're So Fat is pretty thoroughly a linguistics book. While it is not totally inaccessible for non-linguists, it can be challenging. There is nonetheless a lot of interesting room for thought on the connection between the language we have and the thoughts we think, and it is also why I was familiar with "culturally relevant teaching" when that came up in the school board elections.

As for the history book, it was great. It is a better addition than Zinn, and could work well with Lerone Bennett Jr.'s Before the Mayflower. 

There you have it. It's not a lot to show for two years, but for one year's reading it's fairly respectable.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/09/native-american-heritage-month-2018.html 

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/09/native-american-heritage-month-2018_17.html 

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2019/09/native-american-heritage-month-2018_19.html

Catching up on reading lists

This week I am doing some catch-up on what happened with my various reading lists. 

I have written about how my mother requiring more care affected my music listening and reviewing. In fact, the care giving had an impact on almost every aspect on my life, including reading. 

Beyond that, the pandemic interrupted library service for a time. Even after it restarted, I guess they were willing to process inter-library loans sooner than I felt comfortable asking. That doesn't affect everything, but often the books I plan to read are somewhat obscure, possibly for being academic in nature, or having been printed in Canada, or something like that.

I did some panic buying. It was only on discounted books, but it was mostly wasted because I haven't read the majority of those buys yet. For some it will help.

This week -- as I sort out some other things -- I am going to go over the months that have gone by, what I have managed, and what is next.

Prior to the bottom dropping out of everything, I had expanded my ambitions. It felt like I was always behind. I decided to read everything on the existing lists, regardless of how long that took. Then in the future I could look for newer things. 

I mean, I did know it wouldn't go as planned, but I didn't know how badly.

And yet, what I find is that I did still read things, and I did keep track, and I have kind of been heading in the intended direction.

I have notes on books that would relate to Black History Month (February), Native American Heritage Month (November), and Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage Month (May). The next few posts will go over the books that were read, and also the future direction, which is sometimes more complicated than others.

I do not appear to have read any additional books for Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15th through October 15th; I had initially thought it was just September), but that time period for 2021 has not happened yet, and I did keep it pretty well in 2019. 

As it was, I read almost everything that I meant to, plus a few extra things that came up. The book I didn't get to was one that had not been officially published yet, but was floating around as an academic paper. It should actually be out now for September 2021.

I added some books of course, and then I still have a lot of names of both writers and musicians from reading Sandra Cisneros that I do want to explore more.

So the plan starting this September 15th is to read that one that had not been published, plus four new books that I have learned about in the time since, and I want to find some good biographies for Cesar Chavez and Dolores Huerta. I will probably read Caramelo by Cisneros, but save the rest of her writing and the long list of her inspirations for 2022. Perhaps I am not quite caught up, but it feels manageable.

Separately, on my project to look at all of the Caldecott medalists, I only have about fifteen left. Some of the honors books were also pretty popular.. I have noticed and learned a lot going through the medalists, so I have thought about going through the honors books as well. The problem is that some of the medalists have been so badly written (even with good art) and so racist that I can't quite summon the enthusiasm for it.

I wrote once about a list of various awards and organizations promoting diverse books. I have explored some of those resources, but did not come close to finishing, so I think I will be turning my attention there again.

There are still about 16 post 2016 election books, and 8 economics books plus a movie.

It is all still being worked on.

Related posts:

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/national-hispanic-heritage-month-2019.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/national-hispanic-heritage-month-2019_14.html

https://sporkful.blogspot.com/2020/01/national-hispanic-heritage-month-2019_15.html